Time to Wake Up

The relay was such a great thing for me, and the timing was right too. I was just about to enter the sad, deep cave of self-pity, as my planned ironman of 2014 is taking place next weekend and I will not be there. I deferred that race until next year for too many reasons to go into. But I had missed competing and participating in races so much, and the experience of last weekend really helped lift my spirits and rekindle my passion for endurance events. I feel so much better, it's like someone gave me shot of carbs and electrolytes to save me from a spiraling bonk. I just feel motivated again. It feels good. I haven't felt this optimistic in months.

In other good news, I met with my running coach yesterday over coffee and we talked SPECIFICS about how I'm going to progress and achieve my goal at Boston. It's no wonder he's good at sales and a sponsor for several companies. He has a way of making you believe. He talked to me just at the right time. I was on a high from participating in the relay and just felt a good vibe. My paces have been dropping (albeit little by little) and holding, and the cooler temperatures are making their way in every morning and a tremendous help. I'm not in pain anywhere. I'm not sick. I'm ready to go. I've got a jolt of angry determination in my belly that I want to see put to good use.

These are some of the things we discussed:

1) It's okay to have fun with races until the end of next year. I can do whatever I want… even go at the 50K ultra again in December if I'm so inclined... as long as: a) I don't get hurt (i.e., be CONSERVATIVE) and b) I follow his plan and strategies to the LETTER come January 1st until race day. In other words, there will be NO shenanigans or rogue events after the first of the year. This is "serious business time" if I want to see a PR in Beantown.

2) We will be incorporating different strategies help guard the notorious wall in the marathon. I have the bad tendency to run on feel almost every run over 20 miles that I've ever done. I start off strong and fast and finish weak and slow. The wall in the last fourth of the race is a result of poor tactics and strategy in the areas of pace, hydration, and fueling. Because of this, we're going to try specific pacing during my long runs (which will include at least four 20+ milers) and he may even make me walk through his mock aid stations. He is also going to try me out with some various endurance drinks that he uses that have protein in them to take in at very specific times during the race.

The goal is to execute the plan on race day, just as practiced. Barring any totally weird circumstances such as a blazing hot day, a torrential downpour, or another terrorist bombing, the race should be not so much effortless but completely prepared for, mentally and physically.

And because I've never ever done a marathon with a true strategy like this, there is no reason why I can't PR. So the expert says.

3) We also talked a lot about my triathlon life and cross training. He's all for cross training. Loves the cycling, swimming, and yoga. In fact, we plan on meeting at the gym occasionally so he can show me exercises to help improve my cadence. But again… I have to protect myself from injuries, and once January hits it will all be about Boston. So as long as I can keep my rogue behavior in check (my New Years Resolution) then I can keep my tri base (because once Boston is over I'm donning the wetsuit and tri singlet again).

Sooo…. I'm pretty excited about visualizing what he's talking about. I know people may think I'm far too serious about this stuff, but this is how I see it: I still have a capable body. I enjoy pushing it. Soon as my age advances I will probably peak and then my performance will start to dwindle. I may have a hard time with that, but I know it's on the horizon, and when it happens, I hope to accept it with grace and a good attitude. But while I still see potential in me to perform better than before, I will challenge myself to do so. It's just me. For better or for worse, I need to be challenged.

Speaking of plans and strategies…

The other day I received an email from the blogger Matt Frazier, thanking the many people who stepped forward to lead local vegetarian running groups around the country. In the email he attached a document which outlined a program he entitled "Wake Up". This program is a 31 Day directive to enable you to incorporate a positive change into your life. I guess Matt has done a lot of reading about how and why people become successful at making a change and breaking bad habits. It appears there's almost a "science" to the step-by-step process one goes through to develop a new habit and make it stick. I found the whole thing really interesting.

Each day there is an action, and you do what you can to follow it.

On Day 1 you are supposed to choose an anchor habit. This new habit is supposed to be something… an activity or action… that brings you deep joy. It is something that maybe you would love to do but can't always find the time to do. In other words, it's not an urgent. It's just for you, but it is POSITIVE for your mind, body, and spirit.

As I look back at what I've done "well" over the past couple of years, it would be to do some form of physical activity every single day, whether it be running, swimming, cycling, yoga or whatever.

I also enjoy photography and take photos almost daily. I love to write. I love listening to new music.

At first I wanted my new anchor habit to be meditation. But I need to be honest with myself. Right now, meditation does not bring me "deep joy" as I wish it would or could. The simple fact is that I don't know how to do it. I sit in silence with my mala beads. I think of a mantra. I say it to myself, but I don't necessarily feel the peace and tranquility that is supposed to wash over me and cleanse me. I don't have the control over my negative thoughts as they rush in when my mind quiets. And then I'm stressed. Stressed that I'm not free. It's a very, very difficult thing for me.

So as much as I would like to LEARN and practice the ability to meditate, I fear making it my anchor habit. It's only because it isn't fulfilling as of yet.

So then I thought of yoga. I would venture to say that I ALMOST do yoga every day. Between the Instagram challenges and class with Yoda Jen, I definitely have incorporated the physical practice and asanas on a regular basis.

Last Wednesday's Hot Vinyasa class.

But do I do it ritualistically, every single day? No. There are days that I do not even stretch. So I suppose I could tell myself that I will minimally do a flow, backbend and inversion at least once daily, and consider trying a new pose at least once to twice a week.

The other thing I had considered was to carve out about 20 minutes each day to do upper body work I need so desperately: push ups, resistance bands, weights, burpees.

Joyous? Hmmmmm… probably not.

What if I:

1) got up a little earlier than I already do (ha!);

2) sat in silence with a mantra for 5 minutes and do my best to meditate on the words;

3) do a set of push ups, sit ups, burpees, dips, and weights.

4) followed with a short flow that includes one backbend, inversion, and attempt at a new pose.

5) got on with my day.

Too much to ask of myself?

Maybe. But I want to try.

Day 2: Keep a success journal about your efforts to keep this anchor habit going. Could be as simple as typing out the words "I did it." Well, I have this blog. I also have a journaling app on my phone called "DayOne."

My physical and emotional health depends on this.

I'm doing pretty well at keeping my physical health in line. My Sam's Club readout on Saturday afternoon:

Great! But are you healthy in your head?

So Day 2, and ready for action.

Oh and I ran 20 miles this morning with friends. Just like that. On a rooty and hilly trail. I feel strong and I'm fighting to shake off the temptation to cry over my ironman quest being put on hold.