The Wicked 10K 2014

So I wish I was in a better mood to write a great race report, but… here it goes.

I've said it numerous times but this has been a very different year from last year, but in the past few months I decided to work with a running coach and do a more structured approach to my training and focus on a PR in Boston 2015. I've never had expert direction before, and honestly, never really thought I could stick to the plan. But I've been trying to do it. It helps take my mind off my ironman dreams being put on hold.

And I caught the bug again to RACE. Just get out there and be involved in an event with a medal, a post race party, and good buddies.

So instead of doing the Beach 2 Battleship Full Distance Triathlon as originally planned, I did the Wicked 10K here in Virginia Beach on Saturday morning. Slight differences in mileage, but a race nonetheless.

My good friend Lauren and I decided to dress up as hunters and chase down our prey: Lauren's husband, aka "Bambi".

Mmmmm Bambi

 So I know, I know. What a raunchy costume for a vegan. I'm sure some of my plant-based buddies were horrified at my ironic and paradoxical joke. But… it was funny, after all, and even more so to know that the deer was far behind us stifled in his latex mask trying to ventilate and lived to drink a beer with us after the race (or two).

Race morning was beautiful. You couldn't ask for better. Sunny and in the upper 50's low 60's. I was stupid and ran a 12 miler with a tempo finish the day before, but I figured it was just 6 miles. My PR for this distance was a 52:22, set in 2011 I think, and so even if I was a bit tired I thought a new PR was in reach.

I decided to try to hold pace with Lauren, who has trained her ass off in the past year and is a recent ironman. Her paces have been dropping like a bomb. She was rested and ready. I felt okay, but reminded myself that I'm 17 years her senior so I needed to get a reality check.

We took off and finished our first mile in 7:06. Second mile 7:08. I wasn't feelin' it. We turned into the wind on the boardwalk and I felt a wave of fatigue. Lauren surged ahead a bit. I didn't have the fire to turn it on then so while I kept her blazing orange vest in my sights I couldn't catch up.

I didn't feel miserable, but challenged. The last mile was a bit better running with the wind behind us. I saw Lauren cross the finish about 30 seconds before me but I had a lil' bit in the tank to pick it up slightly.

I was happy with my time. A PR by 7 whole minutes.

See? Bambi lived.

LOL

I found out I got first in my age group. I'm not going to lie. This was BIG for me. It was a huge race.. over 5 thousand people.

Privately, I felt like crying a little for so many reasons. First and foremost, I felt proud for running it faster than I imagined I could. The training my coach has been designing for me has really started to show its efficacy lately. After the Shamrock Marathon over 7 months ago I went through a mental and physical breakdown and wondered if I could ever regain my mojo and my heart for this sport. Whether that was the "peak" and I would start my downslide. 

But it seems I still have a little left in me.

But mostly, I was feeling less of an athlete because I had to defer that ironman, and like I was only a fraction of the person I was last year. This race was the shot in the arm I needed to feel strength again. I felt the possibilities in me. I felt hopeful. Energized. It made all of my recent disappointments evaporate away for a day.

Trophy day. 

Now onward. I feel like I need to keep beast mode alive. I have a half marathon in exactly one month and another PR in my sights, so I will continue to keep myself toeing the line.

The Path Unseen

Today's Mantra: "You do not have to see the entire path. Just take one step."

Yesterday morning before my run I got up early, and sat down on the rug in the quiet dark and just stretched and took deep breaths. I thought of where I am, where I've been, and where I want to be. And how that totally depends on my mindset. It depends on my dedication, my determination, and casting any negative thoughts out of my life. This is as close to a meditation as I could muster at this point. No burning candles, no chanting, no trances. Just a moment of affirmation. It was brief, and perhaps not as "cleansing" as true meditation might be. But a small step was taken and for that I'm proud.

In one of my yoga classes I had an instructor who would tell us before we would go into savasana that we should release our "dragon breath." I feel like this is what I need to do. Every morning. Breathe out the burning fire and breathe in the cool fresh air.

Speaking of cool and fresh, the temps were in the upper 40's Monday morning and I took advantage on my 5 miler. When it's cold I hustle; and my pace reflected how chilly I was. I was shocked to see my pace in the 7:20's less than 24 hours after a 20 mile trail run. I did wrong though; Ryan said for me to go easy and that pace was not easy. I was pushing. Why I cannot listen to his wisdom is beyond me. Sometimes, when I'm out there alone in the dark, I feel like I've got something to prove.

This morning it was almost like Groundhog Day. Got up, did my quiet pep talk in the dark, and took to the road again and managed a 7 miler at a 7:40 pace. It's getting a bit easier… well, until the end. I pushed at the end. Finish strong.

Less than a half hour later I was burning up in spin class. I closed my eyes and just focused. Definitely uncomfortable, but not in pain. Got off the bike and did some weights and core work. Felt good to not focus on the run so much and branch out to the arms a bit. I'll be sore tomorrow.

I have been eating very, very well the past few days. Totally plant fueled and feeling good. I've been focusing on my protein and eating lots of chickpeas and hummus, tons of veggies. Less sugar. Taking my multivitamin and B12. I am down 4 lbs since the beginning of the month, close to my pre-ironman weight last year. Haven't been drinking enough water, however. Still drinking too much coffee. Have to work on those things. I ALWAYS have to work on THOSE things, it seems.

On Day 3 of this "Wake Up" program I am supposed to remind myself of my victories, and they are victories that were direct results of positive changes I've made. Not intended to be a brag-fest, it's an exercise to remind yourself that you are capable of goals you have set before yourself, even when you were in a place of not believing. It's like a reminder and proof that the method works.

My victories. With respect to my hobbies (running, triathlon) I think I have a few victories to report, I guess.

1. My very first race was a half marathon in September of 2008 (age 38). I wanted to start running and finish running… no walking. That was my goal. I did it. I remember how hard it was, but I pushed through the misery… the hip pain, the heat, the desire to quit. I finished with a time of 2:27:13. From a girl who couldn't run a full mile the year before, it was a big feat and a victory.

2. I wanted to do a full marathon when I turned 40. I did the training solo and I was not very motivated. A girl online had agreed to do the race with me, but backed out with 2 months left of training. I held my ground and showed up at the starting line of the OBX Marathon with only one sad 16 mile training run under my belt. My goal was to see if I could finish in less than 5 hours. Thanks to the kindness of a stranger who ran the whole way with me and encouraged me, I finished the race in 4:48:33. I vowed to do it again, and better.

3. In 2012 I participated in my first official sprint triathlon after buying a road bike off CraigsList and practicing with a group of very supportive cyclists. The ocean swim made me nervous but I felt okay on the bike and surprised myself on the run. I truly shocked myself with a strong finish, taking 2nd in my age group, and 17th female overall. A new passion was born and I immediately wanted to take it to the next level. A month later I ran the Richmond Marathon with a friend who pushed me… and finished in 3:49:23, only 4 minutes off Boston qualification and a whole HOUR improvement on my very first marathon performance 2 years prior.

4. In May of 2013 I participated in my first half ironman distance triathlon. It was the toughest event in my memory, if I'm being honest. Going from extremes of severe cold to blazing hot, all while being under fueled and dehydrated. I went about the whole thing wrong. But somehow I ended up 1st on the podium in my age group. I still loved it. I decided I was truly hooked to the sport… either that, or making myself suffer.

5. In September of 2103 I did the full ironman distance. I look back at the event fondly now, but it was crazy HARD. I crossed the finish line in 12 hours and ten minutes, alongside my training partner, who was an exceptionally better athlete than me and pushed me hard all summer. I got third female overall and won a check for $500. I got a plaque that said I was third place in the Mid-Atlantic region USA Triathlon Championships. It was the only plaque I proudly displayed on my dresser, and possibly the one event that I am most proud of as an athlete. I still look back at that moment and wonder if that was really me.

6. Two weeks after the ironman I ran the Wineglass Marathon in 3:43:52, BARELY qualifying for the Boston Marathon. Ironically, that was my dream goal at the end of 2012 but triathlon sucked me into an abyss and Boston seemed like an afterthought by the time I got to New York. Endurance training got me through it, but my body was wracked. Still so proud of the accomplishment.

7. In December 2013 I ran my first ultra: a Trail 50K through a state park. I took second place in my age group and was the 6th female overall.

8. Winter '13-'14 I ran the Tidewater Distance Series (10, 15, and 20 milers) and became the first female overall for the entire series.

And that was my dream year. Many "victories."

Because this exercise is to highlight the positive, I will leave it at that. Tomorrow I will have to touch on the negative, and what has to change.

In te meantime, yoga soothes my soul.

Back to training. Dragon breath out.

Time to Wake Up

The relay was such a great thing for me, and the timing was right too. I was just about to enter the sad, deep cave of self-pity, as my planned ironman of 2014 is taking place next weekend and I will not be there. I deferred that race until next year for too many reasons to go into. But I had missed competing and participating in races so much, and the experience of last weekend really helped lift my spirits and rekindle my passion for endurance events. I feel so much better, it's like someone gave me shot of carbs and electrolytes to save me from a spiraling bonk. I just feel motivated again. It feels good. I haven't felt this optimistic in months.

In other good news, I met with my running coach yesterday over coffee and we talked SPECIFICS about how I'm going to progress and achieve my goal at Boston. It's no wonder he's good at sales and a sponsor for several companies. He has a way of making you believe. He talked to me just at the right time. I was on a high from participating in the relay and just felt a good vibe. My paces have been dropping (albeit little by little) and holding, and the cooler temperatures are making their way in every morning and a tremendous help. I'm not in pain anywhere. I'm not sick. I'm ready to go. I've got a jolt of angry determination in my belly that I want to see put to good use.

These are some of the things we discussed:

1) It's okay to have fun with races until the end of next year. I can do whatever I want… even go at the 50K ultra again in December if I'm so inclined... as long as: a) I don't get hurt (i.e., be CONSERVATIVE) and b) I follow his plan and strategies to the LETTER come January 1st until race day. In other words, there will be NO shenanigans or rogue events after the first of the year. This is "serious business time" if I want to see a PR in Beantown.

2) We will be incorporating different strategies help guard the notorious wall in the marathon. I have the bad tendency to run on feel almost every run over 20 miles that I've ever done. I start off strong and fast and finish weak and slow. The wall in the last fourth of the race is a result of poor tactics and strategy in the areas of pace, hydration, and fueling. Because of this, we're going to try specific pacing during my long runs (which will include at least four 20+ milers) and he may even make me walk through his mock aid stations. He is also going to try me out with some various endurance drinks that he uses that have protein in them to take in at very specific times during the race.

The goal is to execute the plan on race day, just as practiced. Barring any totally weird circumstances such as a blazing hot day, a torrential downpour, or another terrorist bombing, the race should be not so much effortless but completely prepared for, mentally and physically.

And because I've never ever done a marathon with a true strategy like this, there is no reason why I can't PR. So the expert says.

3) We also talked a lot about my triathlon life and cross training. He's all for cross training. Loves the cycling, swimming, and yoga. In fact, we plan on meeting at the gym occasionally so he can show me exercises to help improve my cadence. But again… I have to protect myself from injuries, and once January hits it will all be about Boston. So as long as I can keep my rogue behavior in check (my New Years Resolution) then I can keep my tri base (because once Boston is over I'm donning the wetsuit and tri singlet again).

Sooo…. I'm pretty excited about visualizing what he's talking about. I know people may think I'm far too serious about this stuff, but this is how I see it: I still have a capable body. I enjoy pushing it. Soon as my age advances I will probably peak and then my performance will start to dwindle. I may have a hard time with that, but I know it's on the horizon, and when it happens, I hope to accept it with grace and a good attitude. But while I still see potential in me to perform better than before, I will challenge myself to do so. It's just me. For better or for worse, I need to be challenged.

Speaking of plans and strategies…

The other day I received an email from the blogger Matt Frazier, thanking the many people who stepped forward to lead local vegetarian running groups around the country. In the email he attached a document which outlined a program he entitled "Wake Up". This program is a 31 Day directive to enable you to incorporate a positive change into your life. I guess Matt has done a lot of reading about how and why people become successful at making a change and breaking bad habits. It appears there's almost a "science" to the step-by-step process one goes through to develop a new habit and make it stick. I found the whole thing really interesting.

Each day there is an action, and you do what you can to follow it.

On Day 1 you are supposed to choose an anchor habit. This new habit is supposed to be something… an activity or action… that brings you deep joy. It is something that maybe you would love to do but can't always find the time to do. In other words, it's not an urgent. It's just for you, but it is POSITIVE for your mind, body, and spirit.

As I look back at what I've done "well" over the past couple of years, it would be to do some form of physical activity every single day, whether it be running, swimming, cycling, yoga or whatever.

I also enjoy photography and take photos almost daily. I love to write. I love listening to new music.

At first I wanted my new anchor habit to be meditation. But I need to be honest with myself. Right now, meditation does not bring me "deep joy" as I wish it would or could. The simple fact is that I don't know how to do it. I sit in silence with my mala beads. I think of a mantra. I say it to myself, but I don't necessarily feel the peace and tranquility that is supposed to wash over me and cleanse me. I don't have the control over my negative thoughts as they rush in when my mind quiets. And then I'm stressed. Stressed that I'm not free. It's a very, very difficult thing for me.

So as much as I would like to LEARN and practice the ability to meditate, I fear making it my anchor habit. It's only because it isn't fulfilling as of yet.

So then I thought of yoga. I would venture to say that I ALMOST do yoga every day. Between the Instagram challenges and class with Yoda Jen, I definitely have incorporated the physical practice and asanas on a regular basis.

Last Wednesday's Hot Vinyasa class.

But do I do it ritualistically, every single day? No. There are days that I do not even stretch. So I suppose I could tell myself that I will minimally do a flow, backbend and inversion at least once daily, and consider trying a new pose at least once to twice a week.

The other thing I had considered was to carve out about 20 minutes each day to do upper body work I need so desperately: push ups, resistance bands, weights, burpees.

Joyous? Hmmmmm… probably not.

What if I:

1) got up a little earlier than I already do (ha!);

2) sat in silence with a mantra for 5 minutes and do my best to meditate on the words;

3) do a set of push ups, sit ups, burpees, dips, and weights.

4) followed with a short flow that includes one backbend, inversion, and attempt at a new pose.

5) got on with my day.

Too much to ask of myself?

Maybe. But I want to try.

Day 2: Keep a success journal about your efforts to keep this anchor habit going. Could be as simple as typing out the words "I did it." Well, I have this blog. I also have a journaling app on my phone called "DayOne."

My physical and emotional health depends on this.

I'm doing pretty well at keeping my physical health in line. My Sam's Club readout on Saturday afternoon:

Great! But are you healthy in your head?

So Day 2, and ready for action.

Oh and I ran 20 miles this morning with friends. Just like that. On a rooty and hilly trail. I feel strong and I'm fighting to shake off the temptation to cry over my ironman quest being put on hold.

Fish Can't Run… or Can They?

So this year has been vastly different from 2013. Last year I went from event to event to event. Century bike rides, triathlons of all distances (including an ironman distance), a marathon, even a 50K. I felt like a machine. But the reality was I was just a junkie with an expensive habit. I drained our bank account and neglected my family almost every weekend. I was like that teenage kid you just don't know how to deal with.

As with anyone who realizes that they have a problem and overindulged, I had to drastically scale back this year for many reasons. As I look back now, I think prior to last weekend I only participated in five events this year: a 15 miler in January, a 20 miler in February, a marathon in March (which I pathetically DNF'ed), the Tough Mudder in July, and a trail 5K in August (where I got a minor injury). That's it. For normal people this would be plenty enough. But the junkie in me struggled with my withdrawal from going from race to race almost every other week it seemed.

So fate was kind to me and threw me a bone. One of my friends I met on the fitness social site DailyMile asked if I would be willing to join his team for the Tuna 200 Relay from Raleigh to Atlantic Beach, North Carolina on October 10th and 11th. I am not a seasoned relayer but I have two of these kinds of races under my belt… the DC Ragnar Relay in 2011 and the Colonial 70 in 2012. They are really a blast and unlike any other running event that you'll ever do, so I was eager to join in.

I only knew three of the eleven other team members, and not well at that. Most people might find the scenario of spending over 24 hours straight in close quarters with strangers too daunting. But runners are a special kind of people. We have a million different backgrounds: from lawyers to active military to housewives to homeless nomad… we all just love to put our feet on the pavement and struggle through to our goal. And that common thread makes you automatic comrades.

So our team was called "Fish Can't Run"… a play on the fact that it's odd for an ultra relay to be named after an animal that has no legs or feet, and cannot run whatsoever.

So we met up in Raleigh on Thursday evening, had a nice dinner at an Italian restaurant, stayed at one of the runner's parent's homes (so hospitable and kind it was unreal), and met up at the start:

I won't eat tuna or BBQ, but I sure looked forward to the beer!

Decorated our vans and gave each other fishy "code names"

The race provided tattoos with directions for our legs. Wish I could have read them without my reading glasses.

Steve, our "Captain Catfish", leads us off at 8 am

Here I am on my first leg, climbing insane hills. Tough run.

Andrea and Dene at an exchange.

We experienced a beautiful sunset after the first 11 hrs of the race

As the sun sets and you are in your second leg of the relay, that's when you start asking yourself: "What am I doing, exactly?" I started off on my second leg around 10 pm… one of the longest ones (a 9.3 miler) and it was pitch dark. I blew my legs up a bit on my earlier run, trying to fly on a very hilly and challenging leg, and my body wasn't used to the terrain. So I was a bit fatigued. It was cooler (thank God, we had monster high temps for October while the sun was up) and so I felt pretty decent in the first mile or so. I know I needed to turn at about mile 2, but the course had been so well marked I just trusted that I'd see that blinky light on that sign.

I ran on. Pretty decent pace. I pass another runner. I'm finding a zone. That's when a van pulls up alongside me with some strange people in it yelling at me. I'm off course. I missed a turn. They lost their runner too. Get in the van. They'll take me back to where I was supposed to turn. Is that legal? Other runners were in there. Okay. In I go. Dammit!!!

They ask me if I want to be driven a little farther up to make up for lost time. The stubborn mule in me says no. Drop me off here where I should have turned and I'm going to try to haul ass. And that's what I did. Well, tried to do anyway. I pulled out my fastest 10.5 miler of the past several months, but I lost minutes for our overall team time. No one was grumpy about it, just me.

And then I was TIRED. This girl needs her rest. I'm the type that goes to bed around 9:30 pm every night and wakes up at 5, and I'm not good without sleep. I tried to get horizontal in the van around 1 am, but I was kinked up and uncomfy. I might have dozed off a bit here and there but good quality sleep was not to be had. That's just part of this. The tough part. Those moments in the race where you question your sanity for doing something like this.

Add to this my funny food requirements. Being plant based, I couldn't participate in the pizza refuel at one of the exchanges. And I was tired of eating almond butter bagels, Larabars, apples and bananas. I craved something warm and hearty like a veggie chili or a bean burrito. But no one offers these types of things at these events. Oh well.

And then it was morning and time for our van to take over again. My last leg of the relay started about 6:15 am. It was on a very busy street in the town of Mayville, North Carolina. I ran against traffic and was freaked out a couple of times by several huge semi trucks that whooshed by me so close I was almost knocked down by the gust of wind they created. My adrenaline surged. Too bad my legs were pretty fried at that point. I could only muster about an 8:00/mi pace. I was lucky to pull that off, frankly.

My teammate took over right as the sun emerged on the horizon and I was able to take my favorite shot of the relay from my cell phone as he ran past me:

Then Van 1 was done and Van 2 took over to get us to the coastline. And we made it.

We all gathered to join our last runner to the finish

You know that moment? Where coming through the big finish arch erases every tough moment of questioning why you signed up? It takes any regret or any memory of hardship? You just feel this huge sense of accomplishment and pure joy. It makes every step worth it, and all of the difficulty in getting there evaporate away. All you think about is the way you pushed on, the way your teammates cheered you on and encouraged you, the way that people can instantly change from a stranger to a teammate and friend, and that as a team you did something extraordinary.

The medal was cool, too.

Heavier than a tuna fish. And sharp too!

So needless to say my passion for running events and races has been completely invigorated. I'm signing up for the Wicked 10K here in the next 10 days, then on to the Harbor Lights Half on November 23rd. It's easy for me to get sucked into the black hole, the "abyss" of my obsessions. But my biggest challenge… more than getting a faster pace or setting a new PR, is how I maintain balance with it all. I'm a notorious junkie. I've been in rehab. Can I keep it all in check?

In other news, I start a 31 day action program showing me the nuts and bolts of positive change. I have lots of little habits I want to break and new ones to establish. Rome wasn't built in a day and I'm not trying to be Rome either. Rome wasn't perfect, was it? But I'm intrigued by the process of how people get OUT of bad habits and establish new positive ones that change their lives. Change is hard. There's a science to the process.

More on that later.

Zipping On

Again…. finding it hard to keep up on the blog. Used to be such a prolific writer. Total diarrhea of the mouth/keyboard. Blah blah blah. But...

I've been working really hard on multitasking and maintaining balance, while progressing as a runner and athlete. I want to prove to myself that this ol' girl has the ability, the CAPABILITY, to get my goals accomplished. But not fall off the deep end. The abyss.

I started the week off where I wanted to be. My pace is trickling down, increment by increment. I have to credit Ryan's plan and the cooler weather. And maybe a little bit of mental toughness. Every once in a while I have faith and gumption and see it through. I ran hard on Monday and Tuesday.

In the middle of the week I was tagged on Instagram by a complete stranger. A yogini who obviously looks at my posts. She just said: "For you beautiful mamas out there."

At that very moment, I could have cried. It was just powerful. We need to hear these words every once in a while. We're all striving for something, and how we go about finding whatever that is, is different. But at the core we are the same. We need to take a breath and be calm and let go of all of the burdens that keep us from moving forward.

Later that evening the moon in the clouds gave us a beautiful nighttime sky that filled my child-like heart with wonder.

Off to a 200 mile relay in North Carolina… my first real running event in months.

Get It Done.

"Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can."
-Arthur Ashe

Probably one of my favorite quotes. It's beautiful because so many of us feel like we're starting from ground zero and the uphill climb is just so hard. We want to be at the summit, want to be see the view from the pinnacle… want to be there in the dream already. We all start somewhere and the hardest part is that first step and accepting where we are in the journey. There is a balance between angry determination to be better, and throwing some serious self-love your way for the progress you've already made.

I love watching people be so proud of themselves. It put a huge smile on my face to see them succeed. It starts with a small thing. I want to run a mile. It seems impossible, it seems so hard. But you keep putting one foot in front of the other, and in time (with patience and a good attitude) that mile becomes twenty six point two. Or even more.

It's amazing.

What's even better is somewhere along the journey you start to realize that it doesn't always have to be about you. You let go of the ego a little bit, because a wonderful reward lies with witnessing the successes of people around you. And I'm finding more and more joy from seeing people I know get better and feel good.

Today I met my friend Jim for a 10 mile trail run. He's in his sixties and he is going to be an ironman, AGAIN, in two weeks. I want to cry when I think about him… almost the same age as my father, and he has the spirit of a twenty year old. He throws down these open water swims, bike rides, and runs with a great attitude and positive spirit. He is realistic, and yet he's just so optimistic. He feels GOOD and PROUD. I am grateful to be around him, and consider him a teacher. I need to learn to be dedicated, disciplined, and yet be HAPPY and CONTENT with where I am. Life is good. And it's too short to continually be disappointed when things aren't always perfect.

We can start from anywhere. As long as we believe, are dedicated, and are determined to make it, it can be done.

Also glad to see several of the NMA running group embers getting PR's today in their races. It was just a perfect day weather wise.

A beautiful sunrise on the oceanfront:

Golden morning.

Carpe diem.

Ad so, another week is finished. I always feel like Monday is another opportunity to start fresh and make up for anything lost in the previous week.

I emailed my coach. I told him that I need a little more in terms of feedback and motivation. I love to help others and see them succeed but I'd really like some help too.

Looking forward to the relay this weekend.

Break of Day

"Elevate your inside game. A negative attitude is below the horizon… a place for lonesome hearts."
- T. F. Hodge

This week my goal was simple. To get back on track, stick to the plan, and keep a good attitude intact. It's amazing what a mental adjustment can do for your physical performance.

I got a boost on Sunday reconnecting with my former running buddy Shelly… I had an epiphany after our 10 miler and realized that as much as I want to prove I have the strength to progress on my own, running is just more fun, rewarding, and enjoyable with a friend. And Shelly knows how to push me. Her experience, fitness, and most importantly her strong attitude gets me motivated. She agreed to pace me for my next half marathon, and I'm just so thrilled to have a goal again.

Aside from the horrific car key fiasco Tuesday morning, my training has been good. I was supposed to have a down week… lots of recovery, but unfortunately last week I let myself down so I needed a little bit of redemption. I was happy to see my runs all falling into a sub 8 min pace, even my 7 miler that I slugged out at 5:30 am Thursday morning before a looooong 12 hour day at work.

Friday morning the sky was clear and the air cool so we got up early and drove down to Sandbridge Beach and watched the sun rise over the sea. Tried to get some yoga in (of course) but I have to admit that my body was resistant and inflexible that early. My backbends were tough. My balance was off. But the sun was beautiful.

Later that morning I met up with Jim and Garland, my two cycling friends readying themselves for their ironman races in the next 2 weeks. We swam in the Chesapeake Bay. I had the longest swim I have done in months. I loved most of it but after about a mile and a half I started feeling queasy. So I quit a bit early… I was hoping to pull the full 4000 meters. I was slow (by my standards) but I can't complain.

I am trying so very, very hard not to be sad and deflated that I am not doing Beach to Battleship 140.6. I will let it go. It's not my time. I will see my friends compete and do their best. I will feel proud of them. I will bide my time. I will stay focused on my dream: PR at Boston.

Then… I will be an ironman again. 2015 will be my year.

And I have so much to look forward to. I continue my missions with #90daysofmindfulness and the No Meat Athlete running group. I am going to be more dedicated and focused on nutrition for this training cycle, and look forward to exchanging ideas and camaraderie. 

And next weekend… an EVENT! A race! 200 mile relay with people I met on DailyMile. There are two other vegans on my team. I'm looking so forward to participating in an event FINALLY. It's been a weird year.

NOT looking forward to wearing a tutu. But a tutu I will wear.

The Key to Sanity

Today marks 200 days until the 2015 Boston Marathon.

It is also the first day of my second session of #90daysofmindfulness, a project dream child of a girl I coached as a youngster. She is now an artist and yoga instructor, and aspiring vegan, who is quite an inspirational human being. I have agreed to be an ambassador for this initiative; it's basically a social media movement in which people feel supported in their efforts for positive change, whatever that change might be. It can be fitness related, diet related, or anything else that brings positive change into your life.

In the last session, I threw out a very simple and measurable goal. I wanted to achieve King Pigeon pose in yoga. That was it. No big life change, no humungous event to tackle or train for. Just a pose that involves a serious backbend and shoulder flexibility. The irony is I came close, but in fact, do NOT have the pose.

What I did gain was a lot more: I did yoga most every evening, documented it in photography through the help of my family and friends, expressed my creativity, and read so many beautiful and inspiring quotes that filled my spirit with peace and motivation. I can't say that my participation was a failure then. It was a great experience.

This go round my goal is possibly a little less measurable, but definitely more fulfilling. My goal is to pay it forward. I'm not going to go into long detail of it… but basically I was probably one of the most selfish human beings on the planet last year. I was chasing a dream… and got caught up in it heart and soul. I forgot the peripheral people in my life. I neglected them, while they sacrificed to support me fulfill my needs and wants.

I don't have a lot of experience, but I have some. I see people striving to reach the same goal I met last year. I see people struggling with changing their eating habits. I have friends who could use some support in becoming healthy. I will do my best to make myself available to them. I will train with them, run alongside them, swim with them, bike with them. I'll be a cheerleader. They were there for me. I hope to be of some use to them.

In the meantime I know myself. I need to keep my a goal for myself intact, or I will lose my sanity. And I can't be of any use to anyone if I'm in a straightjacket.

So I just have to be a good manager of time, and keep my goals intact. I want to run the Boston Marathon in the best running shape so that I can get a personal record there. I just want to give it MY best…. whatever that is. I want to bring what I am capable of. And I know I am capable of more than I have done in the past. Not to be negative, but aging will limit my progress soon enough. I will reach a peak for my body and that will be the threshold. I want to see that limit. I want to see where it is. After that I will have to accept the destined path. I hope to keep myself going in a way that keeps me happy, healthy, and sane. That's the key.

Speaking of KEY, I have a funny story. Well, it wasn't funny at the time.

My goal this week was to get BACK ON TRACK. Last week I came up short. This week I wanted a different scene. A different vibe.

So on Tuesday I took my run to a new venue. I drove to the local grocery store, parked my car, stuffed my key in my shorts pocket (done it before, no problem), secured the velcro and off I went into the morning fog.

About halfway in I was inclined to feel my pocket. No key bulge. My pocket was EMPTY.

If that wasn't bad enough news, I let the situation sink in that I do NOT have a spare key. It was lost some 3 years ago and never replaced due to the expense.

I retraced my steps. Scoured the ground and the grass. No key. No key. NO KEY.

I made it back to the car and NO KEY.

True panic set in. This has never happened to me before.

I call my neighbor in distress. HELP! She agrees to come and rescue me while I figure out who I'm going to call and write that million dollar check to.

As she rolls in to the parking lot and I get in, she says: "Soooo… there's this random key that's been hanging on our key rack for a long time. I'm not trying to get your hopes up, but it's a Toyota key and I have no idea who it belongs to."

Guess where the spare key to my car has been for the past 3 years (or so).

In other news, the #SilhouetteYogis Instagram challenge is over. No winners selected, but I'm not worried about it. I got such positive feedback from the sponsors that no matter who gets the freebies, it was a winning experience. I'll participate again.

Some of the shots for the project:

Toe stand (with "rag doll" variation)

Standing backbend

Upward facing bow with leg variation

The Virginia Beach No Meat Athlete Running Group is up and "RUNNING."

Sounds like it's going to be another wonderful community for people to thrive in.

Off to yoga class. Got on my bike today and it was gooooooood.