The Harbor Lights Half Marathon 2014

Nothing may be more frustrating than writing an entire race report on your phone app, only to lose all of it. Entirely. (Insert favorite expletive here). This race happened over two weeks ago now, and I wrote a pretty lengthy and detailed post about it, only to find it completely and absolutely DELETED.

I haven't had the time or mental fortitude to rewrite it. And I probably can't truly recount it like I did in that original post, but I have to believe that it's for a reason. Now I'll be short, sweet, and to the point.

So I ran a half marathon a couple of weeks ago. It was the inaugural Harbor Lights Half Marathon in Norfolk, Virginia: a scenic course that winds you the streets of Norfolk and along the edge of the Elizabeth River.

I met up with some of the members of our No Meat Athlete running group for a pre-race pic:

So… a few things.

First, I hadn't run this distance in an official race since March of 2013. I had to look back and verify that. Really??? My PR for the distance was about a 1:44… stupid fast for me at the time.

But I really felt the pressure to see how the past few months of training with a coach (for three months anyway) and a strategy (well… sort of a strategy) would reflect itself in my race performance.

The night before the race I engulfed myself in stressful thoughts of how I would do. How I would execute. Could I discipline myself to certain paces? Would I fuel and hydrate as I know I should? I was literally a hot mess of anxiety. Which in hindsight, I find ridiculous. It's not like I was after a bid to the Olympics. I just wanted to prove myself to… myself.

So as I stood next to Shelly at the starting line I recounted my inner dialogue.

And then the "gun" went off and I shot out of there like a cannon. Like the racehorse that responds only to adrenaline. Like an idiot.

Soooo…. within seconds my discipline turned into brainlessness, and I completed the first mile in 7:10… oh, only about a whole half minute faster than planned. And once that ball was in motion (and I rudely abandoned Shelly) I wouldn't allow myself to slow down (intentionally, that is). I pushed and pushed and pushed. 

If there ever was a word to describe my attitude and mood, it was just pure angry determination. I hate to admit that I'm an angry runner. And on most days I'm not. But on this day I just had some penned up fire that I needed to allow to burn up. So I gave it my all.

Tried to keep up with this amazing girl who was only a few strides ahead of me (later I would find out her name is Carla) but in the end she had more in the tank those last couple of miles.

I crossed the finish in 1:38:20, a new PR for me by about 6 minutes.

And here is my amazing new coach. I abandoned her to charge ahead like an idiot, but she did the valiant thing and hung back with her hubby and was fighting off a sinus infection and the FLU. She still PR'ed with a 1:41. Unbelievable!

And here is the amazing John Dempsey on his journey to becoming a plant powered marathon man:

And here is my Wicked partner in crime, Lauren. We didn't hunt down any deer this time, but we did hunt for some Blue Moon at the beer tent.

More post race fun:

Coach Butterball Bob

The Team in Training gang. Great peeps.

Official results are in. 

On day 1, it looked like I landed a second place in my age group. But after everything was sorted out, I came in third. 

22/1556 females. I'm pretty proud of that. And 131/2598 finishers. Top 5%. Not bad for someone who couldn't run one mile straight 5 years ago.

I continue on with my training. I have a trail 50K in less than 2 weeks. I'm not ready. I ran 24 miles on Sunday, but took a couple of breaks. It will be interesting.

Then come January 1st the REAL fine tuning for Boston begins, and I need to get my mind right again.

The Wicked 10K 2014

So I wish I was in a better mood to write a great race report, but… here it goes.

I've said it numerous times but this has been a very different year from last year, but in the past few months I decided to work with a running coach and do a more structured approach to my training and focus on a PR in Boston 2015. I've never had expert direction before, and honestly, never really thought I could stick to the plan. But I've been trying to do it. It helps take my mind off my ironman dreams being put on hold.

And I caught the bug again to RACE. Just get out there and be involved in an event with a medal, a post race party, and good buddies.

So instead of doing the Beach 2 Battleship Full Distance Triathlon as originally planned, I did the Wicked 10K here in Virginia Beach on Saturday morning. Slight differences in mileage, but a race nonetheless.

My good friend Lauren and I decided to dress up as hunters and chase down our prey: Lauren's husband, aka "Bambi".

Mmmmm Bambi

 So I know, I know. What a raunchy costume for a vegan. I'm sure some of my plant-based buddies were horrified at my ironic and paradoxical joke. But… it was funny, after all, and even more so to know that the deer was far behind us stifled in his latex mask trying to ventilate and lived to drink a beer with us after the race (or two).

Race morning was beautiful. You couldn't ask for better. Sunny and in the upper 50's low 60's. I was stupid and ran a 12 miler with a tempo finish the day before, but I figured it was just 6 miles. My PR for this distance was a 52:22, set in 2011 I think, and so even if I was a bit tired I thought a new PR was in reach.

I decided to try to hold pace with Lauren, who has trained her ass off in the past year and is a recent ironman. Her paces have been dropping like a bomb. She was rested and ready. I felt okay, but reminded myself that I'm 17 years her senior so I needed to get a reality check.

We took off and finished our first mile in 7:06. Second mile 7:08. I wasn't feelin' it. We turned into the wind on the boardwalk and I felt a wave of fatigue. Lauren surged ahead a bit. I didn't have the fire to turn it on then so while I kept her blazing orange vest in my sights I couldn't catch up.

I didn't feel miserable, but challenged. The last mile was a bit better running with the wind behind us. I saw Lauren cross the finish about 30 seconds before me but I had a lil' bit in the tank to pick it up slightly.

I was happy with my time. A PR by 7 whole minutes.

See? Bambi lived.

LOL

I found out I got first in my age group. I'm not going to lie. This was BIG for me. It was a huge race.. over 5 thousand people.

Privately, I felt like crying a little for so many reasons. First and foremost, I felt proud for running it faster than I imagined I could. The training my coach has been designing for me has really started to show its efficacy lately. After the Shamrock Marathon over 7 months ago I went through a mental and physical breakdown and wondered if I could ever regain my mojo and my heart for this sport. Whether that was the "peak" and I would start my downslide. 

But it seems I still have a little left in me.

But mostly, I was feeling less of an athlete because I had to defer that ironman, and like I was only a fraction of the person I was last year. This race was the shot in the arm I needed to feel strength again. I felt the possibilities in me. I felt hopeful. Energized. It made all of my recent disappointments evaporate away for a day.

Trophy day. 

Now onward. I feel like I need to keep beast mode alive. I have a half marathon in exactly one month and another PR in my sights, so I will continue to keep myself toeing the line.

Time to Wake Up

The relay was such a great thing for me, and the timing was right too. I was just about to enter the sad, deep cave of self-pity, as my planned ironman of 2014 is taking place next weekend and I will not be there. I deferred that race until next year for too many reasons to go into. But I had missed competing and participating in races so much, and the experience of last weekend really helped lift my spirits and rekindle my passion for endurance events. I feel so much better, it's like someone gave me shot of carbs and electrolytes to save me from a spiraling bonk. I just feel motivated again. It feels good. I haven't felt this optimistic in months.

In other good news, I met with my running coach yesterday over coffee and we talked SPECIFICS about how I'm going to progress and achieve my goal at Boston. It's no wonder he's good at sales and a sponsor for several companies. He has a way of making you believe. He talked to me just at the right time. I was on a high from participating in the relay and just felt a good vibe. My paces have been dropping (albeit little by little) and holding, and the cooler temperatures are making their way in every morning and a tremendous help. I'm not in pain anywhere. I'm not sick. I'm ready to go. I've got a jolt of angry determination in my belly that I want to see put to good use.

These are some of the things we discussed:

1) It's okay to have fun with races until the end of next year. I can do whatever I want… even go at the 50K ultra again in December if I'm so inclined... as long as: a) I don't get hurt (i.e., be CONSERVATIVE) and b) I follow his plan and strategies to the LETTER come January 1st until race day. In other words, there will be NO shenanigans or rogue events after the first of the year. This is "serious business time" if I want to see a PR in Beantown.

2) We will be incorporating different strategies help guard the notorious wall in the marathon. I have the bad tendency to run on feel almost every run over 20 miles that I've ever done. I start off strong and fast and finish weak and slow. The wall in the last fourth of the race is a result of poor tactics and strategy in the areas of pace, hydration, and fueling. Because of this, we're going to try specific pacing during my long runs (which will include at least four 20+ milers) and he may even make me walk through his mock aid stations. He is also going to try me out with some various endurance drinks that he uses that have protein in them to take in at very specific times during the race.

The goal is to execute the plan on race day, just as practiced. Barring any totally weird circumstances such as a blazing hot day, a torrential downpour, or another terrorist bombing, the race should be not so much effortless but completely prepared for, mentally and physically.

And because I've never ever done a marathon with a true strategy like this, there is no reason why I can't PR. So the expert says.

3) We also talked a lot about my triathlon life and cross training. He's all for cross training. Loves the cycling, swimming, and yoga. In fact, we plan on meeting at the gym occasionally so he can show me exercises to help improve my cadence. But again… I have to protect myself from injuries, and once January hits it will all be about Boston. So as long as I can keep my rogue behavior in check (my New Years Resolution) then I can keep my tri base (because once Boston is over I'm donning the wetsuit and tri singlet again).

Sooo…. I'm pretty excited about visualizing what he's talking about. I know people may think I'm far too serious about this stuff, but this is how I see it: I still have a capable body. I enjoy pushing it. Soon as my age advances I will probably peak and then my performance will start to dwindle. I may have a hard time with that, but I know it's on the horizon, and when it happens, I hope to accept it with grace and a good attitude. But while I still see potential in me to perform better than before, I will challenge myself to do so. It's just me. For better or for worse, I need to be challenged.

Speaking of plans and strategies…

The other day I received an email from the blogger Matt Frazier, thanking the many people who stepped forward to lead local vegetarian running groups around the country. In the email he attached a document which outlined a program he entitled "Wake Up". This program is a 31 Day directive to enable you to incorporate a positive change into your life. I guess Matt has done a lot of reading about how and why people become successful at making a change and breaking bad habits. It appears there's almost a "science" to the step-by-step process one goes through to develop a new habit and make it stick. I found the whole thing really interesting.

Each day there is an action, and you do what you can to follow it.

On Day 1 you are supposed to choose an anchor habit. This new habit is supposed to be something… an activity or action… that brings you deep joy. It is something that maybe you would love to do but can't always find the time to do. In other words, it's not an urgent. It's just for you, but it is POSITIVE for your mind, body, and spirit.

As I look back at what I've done "well" over the past couple of years, it would be to do some form of physical activity every single day, whether it be running, swimming, cycling, yoga or whatever.

I also enjoy photography and take photos almost daily. I love to write. I love listening to new music.

At first I wanted my new anchor habit to be meditation. But I need to be honest with myself. Right now, meditation does not bring me "deep joy" as I wish it would or could. The simple fact is that I don't know how to do it. I sit in silence with my mala beads. I think of a mantra. I say it to myself, but I don't necessarily feel the peace and tranquility that is supposed to wash over me and cleanse me. I don't have the control over my negative thoughts as they rush in when my mind quiets. And then I'm stressed. Stressed that I'm not free. It's a very, very difficult thing for me.

So as much as I would like to LEARN and practice the ability to meditate, I fear making it my anchor habit. It's only because it isn't fulfilling as of yet.

So then I thought of yoga. I would venture to say that I ALMOST do yoga every day. Between the Instagram challenges and class with Yoda Jen, I definitely have incorporated the physical practice and asanas on a regular basis.

Last Wednesday's Hot Vinyasa class.

But do I do it ritualistically, every single day? No. There are days that I do not even stretch. So I suppose I could tell myself that I will minimally do a flow, backbend and inversion at least once daily, and consider trying a new pose at least once to twice a week.

The other thing I had considered was to carve out about 20 minutes each day to do upper body work I need so desperately: push ups, resistance bands, weights, burpees.

Joyous? Hmmmmm… probably not.

What if I:

1) got up a little earlier than I already do (ha!);

2) sat in silence with a mantra for 5 minutes and do my best to meditate on the words;

3) do a set of push ups, sit ups, burpees, dips, and weights.

4) followed with a short flow that includes one backbend, inversion, and attempt at a new pose.

5) got on with my day.

Too much to ask of myself?

Maybe. But I want to try.

Day 2: Keep a success journal about your efforts to keep this anchor habit going. Could be as simple as typing out the words "I did it." Well, I have this blog. I also have a journaling app on my phone called "DayOne."

My physical and emotional health depends on this.

I'm doing pretty well at keeping my physical health in line. My Sam's Club readout on Saturday afternoon:

Great! But are you healthy in your head?

So Day 2, and ready for action.

Oh and I ran 20 miles this morning with friends. Just like that. On a rooty and hilly trail. I feel strong and I'm fighting to shake off the temptation to cry over my ironman quest being put on hold.

Fish Can't Run… or Can They?

So this year has been vastly different from 2013. Last year I went from event to event to event. Century bike rides, triathlons of all distances (including an ironman distance), a marathon, even a 50K. I felt like a machine. But the reality was I was just a junkie with an expensive habit. I drained our bank account and neglected my family almost every weekend. I was like that teenage kid you just don't know how to deal with.

As with anyone who realizes that they have a problem and overindulged, I had to drastically scale back this year for many reasons. As I look back now, I think prior to last weekend I only participated in five events this year: a 15 miler in January, a 20 miler in February, a marathon in March (which I pathetically DNF'ed), the Tough Mudder in July, and a trail 5K in August (where I got a minor injury). That's it. For normal people this would be plenty enough. But the junkie in me struggled with my withdrawal from going from race to race almost every other week it seemed.

So fate was kind to me and threw me a bone. One of my friends I met on the fitness social site DailyMile asked if I would be willing to join his team for the Tuna 200 Relay from Raleigh to Atlantic Beach, North Carolina on October 10th and 11th. I am not a seasoned relayer but I have two of these kinds of races under my belt… the DC Ragnar Relay in 2011 and the Colonial 70 in 2012. They are really a blast and unlike any other running event that you'll ever do, so I was eager to join in.

I only knew three of the eleven other team members, and not well at that. Most people might find the scenario of spending over 24 hours straight in close quarters with strangers too daunting. But runners are a special kind of people. We have a million different backgrounds: from lawyers to active military to housewives to homeless nomad… we all just love to put our feet on the pavement and struggle through to our goal. And that common thread makes you automatic comrades.

So our team was called "Fish Can't Run"… a play on the fact that it's odd for an ultra relay to be named after an animal that has no legs or feet, and cannot run whatsoever.

So we met up in Raleigh on Thursday evening, had a nice dinner at an Italian restaurant, stayed at one of the runner's parent's homes (so hospitable and kind it was unreal), and met up at the start:

I won't eat tuna or BBQ, but I sure looked forward to the beer!

Decorated our vans and gave each other fishy "code names"

The race provided tattoos with directions for our legs. Wish I could have read them without my reading glasses.

Steve, our "Captain Catfish", leads us off at 8 am

Here I am on my first leg, climbing insane hills. Tough run.

Andrea and Dene at an exchange.

We experienced a beautiful sunset after the first 11 hrs of the race

As the sun sets and you are in your second leg of the relay, that's when you start asking yourself: "What am I doing, exactly?" I started off on my second leg around 10 pm… one of the longest ones (a 9.3 miler) and it was pitch dark. I blew my legs up a bit on my earlier run, trying to fly on a very hilly and challenging leg, and my body wasn't used to the terrain. So I was a bit fatigued. It was cooler (thank God, we had monster high temps for October while the sun was up) and so I felt pretty decent in the first mile or so. I know I needed to turn at about mile 2, but the course had been so well marked I just trusted that I'd see that blinky light on that sign.

I ran on. Pretty decent pace. I pass another runner. I'm finding a zone. That's when a van pulls up alongside me with some strange people in it yelling at me. I'm off course. I missed a turn. They lost their runner too. Get in the van. They'll take me back to where I was supposed to turn. Is that legal? Other runners were in there. Okay. In I go. Dammit!!!

They ask me if I want to be driven a little farther up to make up for lost time. The stubborn mule in me says no. Drop me off here where I should have turned and I'm going to try to haul ass. And that's what I did. Well, tried to do anyway. I pulled out my fastest 10.5 miler of the past several months, but I lost minutes for our overall team time. No one was grumpy about it, just me.

And then I was TIRED. This girl needs her rest. I'm the type that goes to bed around 9:30 pm every night and wakes up at 5, and I'm not good without sleep. I tried to get horizontal in the van around 1 am, but I was kinked up and uncomfy. I might have dozed off a bit here and there but good quality sleep was not to be had. That's just part of this. The tough part. Those moments in the race where you question your sanity for doing something like this.

Add to this my funny food requirements. Being plant based, I couldn't participate in the pizza refuel at one of the exchanges. And I was tired of eating almond butter bagels, Larabars, apples and bananas. I craved something warm and hearty like a veggie chili or a bean burrito. But no one offers these types of things at these events. Oh well.

And then it was morning and time for our van to take over again. My last leg of the relay started about 6:15 am. It was on a very busy street in the town of Mayville, North Carolina. I ran against traffic and was freaked out a couple of times by several huge semi trucks that whooshed by me so close I was almost knocked down by the gust of wind they created. My adrenaline surged. Too bad my legs were pretty fried at that point. I could only muster about an 8:00/mi pace. I was lucky to pull that off, frankly.

My teammate took over right as the sun emerged on the horizon and I was able to take my favorite shot of the relay from my cell phone as he ran past me:

Then Van 1 was done and Van 2 took over to get us to the coastline. And we made it.

We all gathered to join our last runner to the finish

You know that moment? Where coming through the big finish arch erases every tough moment of questioning why you signed up? It takes any regret or any memory of hardship? You just feel this huge sense of accomplishment and pure joy. It makes every step worth it, and all of the difficulty in getting there evaporate away. All you think about is the way you pushed on, the way your teammates cheered you on and encouraged you, the way that people can instantly change from a stranger to a teammate and friend, and that as a team you did something extraordinary.

The medal was cool, too.

Heavier than a tuna fish. And sharp too!

So needless to say my passion for running events and races has been completely invigorated. I'm signing up for the Wicked 10K here in the next 10 days, then on to the Harbor Lights Half on November 23rd. It's easy for me to get sucked into the black hole, the "abyss" of my obsessions. But my biggest challenge… more than getting a faster pace or setting a new PR, is how I maintain balance with it all. I'm a notorious junkie. I've been in rehab. Can I keep it all in check?

In other news, I start a 31 day action program showing me the nuts and bolts of positive change. I have lots of little habits I want to break and new ones to establish. Rome wasn't built in a day and I'm not trying to be Rome either. Rome wasn't perfect, was it? But I'm intrigued by the process of how people get OUT of bad habits and establish new positive ones that change their lives. Change is hard. There's a science to the process.

More on that later.