These Days

Truth be told I am in a funny phase of training right now. A funny phase altogether, really.

The "in earnest" training for Boston starts after the holidays. I've downloaded two plans… one directly from the Boston Athletic Association's website and another provided to my friend Shelly a couple of years ago when she qualified. Shelly's plan is from Fleet Feet, and BAA's looks to be a little harder. I think I'll probably sit down with both over the holidays and decide between a happy medium between the two.

I want to challenge myself. I'd like to see where I can go, what I'm capable of.

But I also want to enjoy myself. My Team in Training coach reminded me not to go to Boston and not see Boston. He said he could picture me getting to the starting line, and once the gun goes off go into such a zone that I don't even see the sights around me. I know that could happen.

He said most people (unless you're a pro or a freak) work hard to QUALIFY, then show up in Boston to run the race just for the scenery and the experience of it, not to PR.

Well, I AM a freak, and I had my reasons for deciding to make Boston my big PR goal. But I'm starting to relax the reigns a little. I am just hoping that if I let go a little of the mental pressure while trying to stay disciplined, I have to trust everything will fall into its place and natural order. If I put the work in, I will do fine. If I stress, it's not worth it. It's always an endeavor to find a happy medium.

So… this weekend is the big 50K trail run. My approach is simple. Just take it easy, put one foot in front of the other, don't fall, hydrate like crazy, and make it to the finish line in whatever fashion my body tells me it can handle. I will start slow and finish slow, and that's a promise. I did a 24 miler the other day and was totally fine the next day. I'm putting no pressure on myself. I'm hoping to make it a  social run, and hang with some folks who will make the 5 hours pass easily.

Then… the holidays. As usual, I have not been very organized this year, and not all gifts have been purchased. Christmas cards have not been sent out. I am not Martha Stewart and never will be. That gene didn't make it into my DNA. For most of my life I felt guilty because of it. Slowly but surely, I am accepting that it takes all types to make this world go round, and pretending that I'm Miss Crafty-Cook is not gonna happen. And it's okay.

 We're going out of town, and attending a volleyball tournament. It will be hard to train, and hard to eat well. But I'm going to do my best and that is all.

When I get back, I plan to really and truly focus on the Boston journey. Starting December 29 the 16 week plan begins, and I'm ready with a good base. I'm also going to focus on my diet even more. Cutting simple sugars and complex carbs in bread and chips will be a big, big goal for me. It'll be hard, because my calorie burn will be revving up. Been down that road before and the cravings are wicked awful. Also with have the big rule of no alcoholic beverages during the weekdays at all, PERIOD. I will replace me stress management with yoga. Every day. I want to PROMISE myself these things. I have the discipline.

In the meantime, I continue to try to soak up this time, and appreciate all the moments. I am surrounded by beauty. There was a time in my life when I didn't notice. I was so immersed in the wrong things. I didn't get outside. I didn't move my body and breathe clean air. I put the wrong fuels into my mouth and felt a lethargy and fatigue that was so much my norm I never knew I could feel different.

This is 10 minutes outside my door. Not to be missed.

Sunrises remind me that there is always a chance for a better day than yesterday. Yesterday happened. It might have been great, it might have been bad. But here's a fresh start, and an opportunity for a great one again.

My tri buddy out on the road. It was ice cold and hard to ride. But the sunrise shot was worth the numb fingers.

View this morning on the run. Peace, bliss, serenity. Not to be missed.

The next three-four months will be very important to me for many reasons. It will be a journey to see what I'm made of and how I can handle the physical and emotional pressure. It will be a test of my fortitude, my resolve, and more. I hope I stay the course and not buckle. It's all in the attitude, the will.

And appreciate the opportunity. Appreciate all of it.

5 Months To Go.

So it's "official" I guess, I have a new coach. It's my good friend Shelly, who saw me to my first sub-four hour marathon in 2012. We started doing some runs together since her recovery from having her second baby, and she is back with a vengeance. Shelly ran track in college and is a smart cookie. She listened to me boo hoo a bit on our runs and decided she was going to pull up her old training plan from when she qualified for Boston a few years ago, and tailor a plan for us to be marathon strong this spring. And she'd do the training with me.

She also knows I want to keep a base for my triathlon season next year, so she worked diligently over the weekend to create a plan that includes my cross training.

I had been focusing so much on the run with Ryan's plan, so I really scaled back on the bike and basically haven't been swimming at all. I decided to get back on the bike a bit before the temperatures plummet to an intolerable level.

Fall is beautiful and I really enjoyed the last few bike rides I have done, before the leaves turn brown, wither, and fly away.

My runs have been pretty decent. I got a fast 4.5 miler in yesterday with an average of 7:19/mile. That's super fast for me. I have a half marathon on Sunday and high hopes for a PR. My best time for 13.1 miles is 1:44. I think I can do it.

Still trying to get a little outdoor yoga in, but daylight is just disappearing and the temps make it hard to be warm and flexible.

I don't HATE any pose in yoga per se, but there are a few that are very challenging for me. It's just a fact that when you hit your forties, the back just doesn't want to bend deeply, regardless of your past history of super bendy flexibility. This one makes me gasp and groan:

Bow.

This is just not the prettiest either, mainly because I just can't get the deep bend going and lift the chest. But they say that avoiding the asanas that are difficult is bad practice. That even at my age I can regain a ton of flexibility that will serve me well if I keep trying, every day if possible. So I will backbend a lot.

Onward!!!!

Role Reversal

Again, it's been a while since blogging. Not my intent when I started this thing. I miss writing, but right now it seems like an overindulgence in a time when life is busy and demands me to use my spare time productively.

And, as usual, lots and lots of things going on. Mostly in a good way. But nothing ever expected. Which has its own beauty and design.

The first thing is that my coach for Boston had literally fallen off the face of the earth. He'd been off the grid for over a week, not responding to messages or emails. I was over a week and a half without a plan for the next 4 week cycle. The Type A nut job side of me wanted to bang my head against the wall and bite every fingernail off, or pull each hair out of my head in a panic.

BUT… I am slowly evolving into a different creature, thanks to the calm and positive affirmations I am teaching myself to use every day. NO ONE should put all their hopes and dreams completely in someone else's hands. I learned this lesson all too well last year. My goal and efforts are mine alone. I have a brain in my head and shoes on my feet. I know how to move forward. Ask questions. Do the research. Execute the workouts. So onward I go. I have rationalized that this was meant to be this way for whatever reason. That perhaps the Universe decided that this was how I was supposed to learn how to develop confidence and figure out what I need to do.

So…. as I typed all of that out I got a message from him, but no plan attached.

Onward. It'll all be okay. Life happens to other people. I know he's a great guy, but he just has priorities. It's time for me to remember my dream is not the only thing that exists in other people's minds and lives.

Speaking of coaches…

A while back I mentioned that I am co-leader of the No Meat Athlete running group here in Virginia Beach. Also a member of this group is an amazing guy named John Dempsey who lost about 150 lbs on a plant based diet, and has found his inner running junkie. John is quite the character and completely inspirational. When his friend Josh LaJaunie completed the New York City Marathon about two weeks ago, he was completely inspired and said that one day he wanted to run one too.

Why not start training for one? I became the devil on his shoulder. He was already doing 10 miles+ at this stage, and I thought 5 months was plenty of time to pick up the distances and be ready for his first full. I offered my support in terms of a plan and motivation. He seemed hesitant at first, but after a good discussion on a group run last Saturday, he said he was in. He is going to go for it. And I've a greed to be his "coach."

I think it's the perfect time for this big goal; John's gone through some amazing changes in the past couple of years… a story so inspiring Rich Roll posted a picture of him on his Facebook page. And if you don't know who Rich Roll is, you need to IMMEDIATELY go to Amazon and order his book Finding Ultra. I would say this book was the vehicle for my dietary changes and the inspiration to push on with my passion for endurance training. His podcast is one of the most listened to of all of the fitness and health offerings on iTunes.

Speaking of diet, I don't talk much about it with respect to my training here. I'm definitely more about the workouts, but since joining my veggie group I've become more inspired to focus on my fuel. The honest truth is this: I don't do my nutrition as well as I should. It's not a focus. But here's where I go wrong: I eat minimally in the morning. Sometimes only a banana and coffee. I go and do a heavy workout. I eat a fruit and nut bar. Then I eat a salad and a piece of fruit for lunch. The salad is usually awesome.

But then the end of day hits and my body is STARVING. I get home from work sometimes as late as 8-9 pm and I want to stuff my face. Veggie burger, bread, anything with carbs… and then throw in a glass (or two) of wine, and the next thing you know the bulk of my calories are consumed late at night.

And did I mention that I drink waaaaaay too much coffee?

Kinda love this mug.

There are so many things to change here. 

In my fantasy world, I become interested in cooking (I hate spending time in the kitchen… just put me on a bicycle instead) cool gourmet vegan dishes like tempeh salad and bean and sweet potato stew. I drink water with lemon all day and and have a steaming cup of green tea instead of coffee. I have no alcohol on weekdays… and only a glass or two on the weekends if I'm out with friends or celebrating after a race. I've thought about completely abstaining from alcohol altogether. I do love a good glass of wine, though. And a super cold beer after a hard race. I have too much German blood in me.

I think about these things but another day begins and my ingrained vices start before I've even had a chance to allow my neurons in my brain to fire. Im already sipping that coffee and looking at the clock and thinking I don't have time to eat a big breakfast before I run, and the last thing I want is a full stomach. So I run on empty and I'm in a rush and don't eat that breakfast. I eat my salad at lunch, but I'm not satiated. And the cycle continues.

I know the answer. It's not one of life's difficult unsolved mysteries. It's like anything. You know what you need to do, you just make the DECISION that you will change, and you do. Maybe it's one thing at a time. Maybe it's the replacement of coffee with tea. Maybe it's making overnight oats in the fridge or having the fruit cut up and Vitamix set out. These are conscious decisions and the discipline to execute them and make them the new norm.

It is my hope and my goal to get better in this aspect of my training journey, as much as the running, the  cycling, the swim, or the yoga.

Aaaah… the yoga.

On the running front, I keep plugging away. I foolishly signed up for a 50K that will take place in about 5-6 weeks, and don't have the mileage behind me to fare well. I just have many friends who will be there and I want to be a part of it. I will take it very slow and just find my way to the finish line, no lofty goals or expectations.

My shorter runs have improved. I threw down a 5 miler yesterday with an average pace of 7:22. My body is acclimating a bit to faster paces. I have big hopes of getting a PR at the upcoming Harbor Lights Half Marathon in a week and a half. I should be able to do it unless things stack against me.

In the meantime, I will keep it moving! I have John to focus on, and will keep my discipline in order to keep my Boston training intact.

The Path Unseen

Today's Mantra: "You do not have to see the entire path. Just take one step."

Yesterday morning before my run I got up early, and sat down on the rug in the quiet dark and just stretched and took deep breaths. I thought of where I am, where I've been, and where I want to be. And how that totally depends on my mindset. It depends on my dedication, my determination, and casting any negative thoughts out of my life. This is as close to a meditation as I could muster at this point. No burning candles, no chanting, no trances. Just a moment of affirmation. It was brief, and perhaps not as "cleansing" as true meditation might be. But a small step was taken and for that I'm proud.

In one of my yoga classes I had an instructor who would tell us before we would go into savasana that we should release our "dragon breath." I feel like this is what I need to do. Every morning. Breathe out the burning fire and breathe in the cool fresh air.

Speaking of cool and fresh, the temps were in the upper 40's Monday morning and I took advantage on my 5 miler. When it's cold I hustle; and my pace reflected how chilly I was. I was shocked to see my pace in the 7:20's less than 24 hours after a 20 mile trail run. I did wrong though; Ryan said for me to go easy and that pace was not easy. I was pushing. Why I cannot listen to his wisdom is beyond me. Sometimes, when I'm out there alone in the dark, I feel like I've got something to prove.

This morning it was almost like Groundhog Day. Got up, did my quiet pep talk in the dark, and took to the road again and managed a 7 miler at a 7:40 pace. It's getting a bit easier… well, until the end. I pushed at the end. Finish strong.

Less than a half hour later I was burning up in spin class. I closed my eyes and just focused. Definitely uncomfortable, but not in pain. Got off the bike and did some weights and core work. Felt good to not focus on the run so much and branch out to the arms a bit. I'll be sore tomorrow.

I have been eating very, very well the past few days. Totally plant fueled and feeling good. I've been focusing on my protein and eating lots of chickpeas and hummus, tons of veggies. Less sugar. Taking my multivitamin and B12. I am down 4 lbs since the beginning of the month, close to my pre-ironman weight last year. Haven't been drinking enough water, however. Still drinking too much coffee. Have to work on those things. I ALWAYS have to work on THOSE things, it seems.

On Day 3 of this "Wake Up" program I am supposed to remind myself of my victories, and they are victories that were direct results of positive changes I've made. Not intended to be a brag-fest, it's an exercise to remind yourself that you are capable of goals you have set before yourself, even when you were in a place of not believing. It's like a reminder and proof that the method works.

My victories. With respect to my hobbies (running, triathlon) I think I have a few victories to report, I guess.

1. My very first race was a half marathon in September of 2008 (age 38). I wanted to start running and finish running… no walking. That was my goal. I did it. I remember how hard it was, but I pushed through the misery… the hip pain, the heat, the desire to quit. I finished with a time of 2:27:13. From a girl who couldn't run a full mile the year before, it was a big feat and a victory.

2. I wanted to do a full marathon when I turned 40. I did the training solo and I was not very motivated. A girl online had agreed to do the race with me, but backed out with 2 months left of training. I held my ground and showed up at the starting line of the OBX Marathon with only one sad 16 mile training run under my belt. My goal was to see if I could finish in less than 5 hours. Thanks to the kindness of a stranger who ran the whole way with me and encouraged me, I finished the race in 4:48:33. I vowed to do it again, and better.

3. In 2012 I participated in my first official sprint triathlon after buying a road bike off CraigsList and practicing with a group of very supportive cyclists. The ocean swim made me nervous but I felt okay on the bike and surprised myself on the run. I truly shocked myself with a strong finish, taking 2nd in my age group, and 17th female overall. A new passion was born and I immediately wanted to take it to the next level. A month later I ran the Richmond Marathon with a friend who pushed me… and finished in 3:49:23, only 4 minutes off Boston qualification and a whole HOUR improvement on my very first marathon performance 2 years prior.

4. In May of 2013 I participated in my first half ironman distance triathlon. It was the toughest event in my memory, if I'm being honest. Going from extremes of severe cold to blazing hot, all while being under fueled and dehydrated. I went about the whole thing wrong. But somehow I ended up 1st on the podium in my age group. I still loved it. I decided I was truly hooked to the sport… either that, or making myself suffer.

5. In September of 2103 I did the full ironman distance. I look back at the event fondly now, but it was crazy HARD. I crossed the finish line in 12 hours and ten minutes, alongside my training partner, who was an exceptionally better athlete than me and pushed me hard all summer. I got third female overall and won a check for $500. I got a plaque that said I was third place in the Mid-Atlantic region USA Triathlon Championships. It was the only plaque I proudly displayed on my dresser, and possibly the one event that I am most proud of as an athlete. I still look back at that moment and wonder if that was really me.

6. Two weeks after the ironman I ran the Wineglass Marathon in 3:43:52, BARELY qualifying for the Boston Marathon. Ironically, that was my dream goal at the end of 2012 but triathlon sucked me into an abyss and Boston seemed like an afterthought by the time I got to New York. Endurance training got me through it, but my body was wracked. Still so proud of the accomplishment.

7. In December 2013 I ran my first ultra: a Trail 50K through a state park. I took second place in my age group and was the 6th female overall.

8. Winter '13-'14 I ran the Tidewater Distance Series (10, 15, and 20 milers) and became the first female overall for the entire series.

And that was my dream year. Many "victories."

Because this exercise is to highlight the positive, I will leave it at that. Tomorrow I will have to touch on the negative, and what has to change.

In te meantime, yoga soothes my soul.

Back to training. Dragon breath out.

Fish Can't Run… or Can They?

So this year has been vastly different from 2013. Last year I went from event to event to event. Century bike rides, triathlons of all distances (including an ironman distance), a marathon, even a 50K. I felt like a machine. But the reality was I was just a junkie with an expensive habit. I drained our bank account and neglected my family almost every weekend. I was like that teenage kid you just don't know how to deal with.

As with anyone who realizes that they have a problem and overindulged, I had to drastically scale back this year for many reasons. As I look back now, I think prior to last weekend I only participated in five events this year: a 15 miler in January, a 20 miler in February, a marathon in March (which I pathetically DNF'ed), the Tough Mudder in July, and a trail 5K in August (where I got a minor injury). That's it. For normal people this would be plenty enough. But the junkie in me struggled with my withdrawal from going from race to race almost every other week it seemed.

So fate was kind to me and threw me a bone. One of my friends I met on the fitness social site DailyMile asked if I would be willing to join his team for the Tuna 200 Relay from Raleigh to Atlantic Beach, North Carolina on October 10th and 11th. I am not a seasoned relayer but I have two of these kinds of races under my belt… the DC Ragnar Relay in 2011 and the Colonial 70 in 2012. They are really a blast and unlike any other running event that you'll ever do, so I was eager to join in.

I only knew three of the eleven other team members, and not well at that. Most people might find the scenario of spending over 24 hours straight in close quarters with strangers too daunting. But runners are a special kind of people. We have a million different backgrounds: from lawyers to active military to housewives to homeless nomad… we all just love to put our feet on the pavement and struggle through to our goal. And that common thread makes you automatic comrades.

So our team was called "Fish Can't Run"… a play on the fact that it's odd for an ultra relay to be named after an animal that has no legs or feet, and cannot run whatsoever.

So we met up in Raleigh on Thursday evening, had a nice dinner at an Italian restaurant, stayed at one of the runner's parent's homes (so hospitable and kind it was unreal), and met up at the start:

I won't eat tuna or BBQ, but I sure looked forward to the beer!

Decorated our vans and gave each other fishy "code names"

The race provided tattoos with directions for our legs. Wish I could have read them without my reading glasses.

Steve, our "Captain Catfish", leads us off at 8 am

Here I am on my first leg, climbing insane hills. Tough run.

Andrea and Dene at an exchange.

We experienced a beautiful sunset after the first 11 hrs of the race

As the sun sets and you are in your second leg of the relay, that's when you start asking yourself: "What am I doing, exactly?" I started off on my second leg around 10 pm… one of the longest ones (a 9.3 miler) and it was pitch dark. I blew my legs up a bit on my earlier run, trying to fly on a very hilly and challenging leg, and my body wasn't used to the terrain. So I was a bit fatigued. It was cooler (thank God, we had monster high temps for October while the sun was up) and so I felt pretty decent in the first mile or so. I know I needed to turn at about mile 2, but the course had been so well marked I just trusted that I'd see that blinky light on that sign.

I ran on. Pretty decent pace. I pass another runner. I'm finding a zone. That's when a van pulls up alongside me with some strange people in it yelling at me. I'm off course. I missed a turn. They lost their runner too. Get in the van. They'll take me back to where I was supposed to turn. Is that legal? Other runners were in there. Okay. In I go. Dammit!!!

They ask me if I want to be driven a little farther up to make up for lost time. The stubborn mule in me says no. Drop me off here where I should have turned and I'm going to try to haul ass. And that's what I did. Well, tried to do anyway. I pulled out my fastest 10.5 miler of the past several months, but I lost minutes for our overall team time. No one was grumpy about it, just me.

And then I was TIRED. This girl needs her rest. I'm the type that goes to bed around 9:30 pm every night and wakes up at 5, and I'm not good without sleep. I tried to get horizontal in the van around 1 am, but I was kinked up and uncomfy. I might have dozed off a bit here and there but good quality sleep was not to be had. That's just part of this. The tough part. Those moments in the race where you question your sanity for doing something like this.

Add to this my funny food requirements. Being plant based, I couldn't participate in the pizza refuel at one of the exchanges. And I was tired of eating almond butter bagels, Larabars, apples and bananas. I craved something warm and hearty like a veggie chili or a bean burrito. But no one offers these types of things at these events. Oh well.

And then it was morning and time for our van to take over again. My last leg of the relay started about 6:15 am. It was on a very busy street in the town of Mayville, North Carolina. I ran against traffic and was freaked out a couple of times by several huge semi trucks that whooshed by me so close I was almost knocked down by the gust of wind they created. My adrenaline surged. Too bad my legs were pretty fried at that point. I could only muster about an 8:00/mi pace. I was lucky to pull that off, frankly.

My teammate took over right as the sun emerged on the horizon and I was able to take my favorite shot of the relay from my cell phone as he ran past me:

Then Van 1 was done and Van 2 took over to get us to the coastline. And we made it.

We all gathered to join our last runner to the finish

You know that moment? Where coming through the big finish arch erases every tough moment of questioning why you signed up? It takes any regret or any memory of hardship? You just feel this huge sense of accomplishment and pure joy. It makes every step worth it, and all of the difficulty in getting there evaporate away. All you think about is the way you pushed on, the way your teammates cheered you on and encouraged you, the way that people can instantly change from a stranger to a teammate and friend, and that as a team you did something extraordinary.

The medal was cool, too.

Heavier than a tuna fish. And sharp too!

So needless to say my passion for running events and races has been completely invigorated. I'm signing up for the Wicked 10K here in the next 10 days, then on to the Harbor Lights Half on November 23rd. It's easy for me to get sucked into the black hole, the "abyss" of my obsessions. But my biggest challenge… more than getting a faster pace or setting a new PR, is how I maintain balance with it all. I'm a notorious junkie. I've been in rehab. Can I keep it all in check?

In other news, I start a 31 day action program showing me the nuts and bolts of positive change. I have lots of little habits I want to break and new ones to establish. Rome wasn't built in a day and I'm not trying to be Rome either. Rome wasn't perfect, was it? But I'm intrigued by the process of how people get OUT of bad habits and establish new positive ones that change their lives. Change is hard. There's a science to the process.

More on that later.

Get It Done.

"Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can."
-Arthur Ashe

Probably one of my favorite quotes. It's beautiful because so many of us feel like we're starting from ground zero and the uphill climb is just so hard. We want to be at the summit, want to be see the view from the pinnacle… want to be there in the dream already. We all start somewhere and the hardest part is that first step and accepting where we are in the journey. There is a balance between angry determination to be better, and throwing some serious self-love your way for the progress you've already made.

I love watching people be so proud of themselves. It put a huge smile on my face to see them succeed. It starts with a small thing. I want to run a mile. It seems impossible, it seems so hard. But you keep putting one foot in front of the other, and in time (with patience and a good attitude) that mile becomes twenty six point two. Or even more.

It's amazing.

What's even better is somewhere along the journey you start to realize that it doesn't always have to be about you. You let go of the ego a little bit, because a wonderful reward lies with witnessing the successes of people around you. And I'm finding more and more joy from seeing people I know get better and feel good.

Today I met my friend Jim for a 10 mile trail run. He's in his sixties and he is going to be an ironman, AGAIN, in two weeks. I want to cry when I think about him… almost the same age as my father, and he has the spirit of a twenty year old. He throws down these open water swims, bike rides, and runs with a great attitude and positive spirit. He is realistic, and yet he's just so optimistic. He feels GOOD and PROUD. I am grateful to be around him, and consider him a teacher. I need to learn to be dedicated, disciplined, and yet be HAPPY and CONTENT with where I am. Life is good. And it's too short to continually be disappointed when things aren't always perfect.

We can start from anywhere. As long as we believe, are dedicated, and are determined to make it, it can be done.

Also glad to see several of the NMA running group embers getting PR's today in their races. It was just a perfect day weather wise.

A beautiful sunrise on the oceanfront:

Golden morning.

Carpe diem.

Ad so, another week is finished. I always feel like Monday is another opportunity to start fresh and make up for anything lost in the previous week.

I emailed my coach. I told him that I need a little more in terms of feedback and motivation. I love to help others and see them succeed but I'd really like some help too.

Looking forward to the relay this weekend.

Break of Day

"Elevate your inside game. A negative attitude is below the horizon… a place for lonesome hearts."
- T. F. Hodge

This week my goal was simple. To get back on track, stick to the plan, and keep a good attitude intact. It's amazing what a mental adjustment can do for your physical performance.

I got a boost on Sunday reconnecting with my former running buddy Shelly… I had an epiphany after our 10 miler and realized that as much as I want to prove I have the strength to progress on my own, running is just more fun, rewarding, and enjoyable with a friend. And Shelly knows how to push me. Her experience, fitness, and most importantly her strong attitude gets me motivated. She agreed to pace me for my next half marathon, and I'm just so thrilled to have a goal again.

Aside from the horrific car key fiasco Tuesday morning, my training has been good. I was supposed to have a down week… lots of recovery, but unfortunately last week I let myself down so I needed a little bit of redemption. I was happy to see my runs all falling into a sub 8 min pace, even my 7 miler that I slugged out at 5:30 am Thursday morning before a looooong 12 hour day at work.

Friday morning the sky was clear and the air cool so we got up early and drove down to Sandbridge Beach and watched the sun rise over the sea. Tried to get some yoga in (of course) but I have to admit that my body was resistant and inflexible that early. My backbends were tough. My balance was off. But the sun was beautiful.

Later that morning I met up with Jim and Garland, my two cycling friends readying themselves for their ironman races in the next 2 weeks. We swam in the Chesapeake Bay. I had the longest swim I have done in months. I loved most of it but after about a mile and a half I started feeling queasy. So I quit a bit early… I was hoping to pull the full 4000 meters. I was slow (by my standards) but I can't complain.

I am trying so very, very hard not to be sad and deflated that I am not doing Beach to Battleship 140.6. I will let it go. It's not my time. I will see my friends compete and do their best. I will feel proud of them. I will bide my time. I will stay focused on my dream: PR at Boston.

Then… I will be an ironman again. 2015 will be my year.

And I have so much to look forward to. I continue my missions with #90daysofmindfulness and the No Meat Athlete running group. I am going to be more dedicated and focused on nutrition for this training cycle, and look forward to exchanging ideas and camaraderie. 

And next weekend… an EVENT! A race! 200 mile relay with people I met on DailyMile. There are two other vegans on my team. I'm looking so forward to participating in an event FINALLY. It's been a weird year.

NOT looking forward to wearing a tutu. But a tutu I will wear.

Labor Day Weekend, and Beyond. Catching Up.

So I have completely slacked on this blog. So much for my tireless discipline. My goal was to keep myself very, very accountable to my goal… and this was a vehicle, just like my training, to keep my head straight and organized.

But life happens. You get busy, you get distracted, blogging discipline falls away.

Internet access sometimes becomes an issue, and often there just isn't enough time left in the day. And so there it is.

So I'll try to catch up some…. doesn't matter really, this is for my own purposes really, and I have been (for the most part) keeping my training somewhat intact. I just haven't been writing about it.

So I left off right before Labor Day. The family and I packed up and drove south to Lake Gaston to spend a couple of days at a lake house with my husband's family. The house was beautiful, the weather was great (for the most part), and the kids had a blast. I was completely disassociated with the world with no internet or cell service. Overall it was a great experience.

I got some pretty good training in. I love training in new places, especially when I have to train alone. It can be nerve-wracking too, but it just invigorates my mind a little to have something new to look at when you're putting the miles down.

On day one I got up early for my Saturday long run. I called it my "Lake Gaston Rock 'n Roll Half Marathon"… in honor of the race taking place back home in Virginia Beach.

Got up at sunrise and set out with my Garmin and just followed the country roads. I decided I'd go about 6 and a half miles out and then turn back.

The view of the sunrise over the lake at about mile 4.

The run was "decent" but I had my issues. There were some hills, especially in the beginning, that made it kind of a tough start. It was very humid and warm already at 6:30 am, and I had no water with me.

At about mile 5 I stopped to take the above pictures. Normally on long runs I prefer not to take any substantial breaks, because it disrupts the endurance rhythm I'm going for, but I looked at the sun rising over the lake and I simply told myself "Do what you love because you love what you do." This wasn't a race and no matter what, I'd put the miles down this morning so take the moments to snap a shot or two. Now I can always look back to the images I saw on that run. And they were lovely. This is what makes running worth it.

I got 13-ish miles in that morning, and I was pretty proud of that. Given the elevation, humidity, and lack of hydration I was completely satisfied with my pace. I know my coach would like for me to be in the low 8's or high 7's for these, but this is where I am.

"Lake Gaston Half" splits.

I brought my road bike with me so the next morning I set out on a solo trek. It was an adventure for sure: no cell service or GPS, no sense of a route, and in a pretty desolate area of North Carolina. A year ago I would have never done such a thing. But I'm braver by the day on the bike and wanted to go, so I went.

The morning was truly spectacular. The sunrise was lovely and of course I had to capture the moments in images.

Sunrise over Lake Gaston in Littleton, North Carolina

Country road sunrise

A quick bridge stop to capture the scene

Here is how I would describe this ride: interesting (I got to see all sorts of images of "Po Dunk, NC" life: bait and tackle shops, trailers, shooting ranges, and lots and lots of run down churches), tough (the rolling hills were a challenge on my fatigued legs), and tougher (at some point during the ride a storm worked its way in and the wind blew in my face on the way back… luckily I didn't get caught in a downpour).

I got about 33 slow miles in… not too long, not too short. I went far enough to feel comfortable that I wouldn't get lost forever on desolate North Carolina country backroads.

After I got back I decided to try to go for a swim in the lake. I forgot my real goggles at home so my poor husband tried desperately to find me a pair, just to make me happy and support my training (and avoid the grumpy aftermath of me not getting a swim in). Not an easy feat out in the middle of nowhere in Po Dunk. But he found a cheap pair at the Dollar Store. And they were cheap. I took them out of their packaging, attempted to put them on and they immediately broke. So I had to basically tie the things together to get them to stay on my face.

I went for a swim. The water was murky brown and speed boats and jet skis were everywhere, passing close by to my left and throwing out pretty decent wakes that I had to contend with. I felt disoriented but swam down to someone's dock and then just turned back. I think I only made about 1500 yards. More than a sprint tri, definitely less than a half iron. When I got out of the water my rash guard was stained perfectly dingy brown.

Last morning there I needed another run so I was about to set out when my husband's cousin said he wanted to join me. I don't get a lot of company on runs anymore these days so I was happy to have a buddy.

We started out chatting on those hills but about a mile or so into it he fell back a bit and I kept a steady pace. We did about 7 miles. I remember that it was insanely humid. We both sweat buckets and had to jump in the lake afterwards to cool down.

So all in all a good weekend and some good training to boot.

Feeling ten years old.

So that was almost 3 weeks ago and a lot has happened since.

I got in to Boston. I'm going. The acceptance already came.

Still a long way off, the true work is ahead of me. I want to enjoy the race of course. And I know I will, er, I hope I will if nothing interrupts the training process and I keep myself strong.

That's just it. Keep myself strong.

Last year I thought I was strong. And I may have been stronger physically than I ever was in my entire life. But mentally I think I was weak and dependent, and this time I need to find it within myself.

My coach will be there, but as of this moment in the process he and I have not REALLY worked together. He has given me a plan. I try to follow it. I do the runs alone (most of them) and he and I have chatted minimally. He doesn't know me yet, and hasn't provided a whole lot of feedback thus far. 

I have accepted this as a pretty understandable circumstance… I am in a speed and base building phase and there really isn't much to say. I'm not brand new to running, and I'm not far off of where he planned for me to be. So what really is there? I'm sure as the event draws closer we will have more to discuss and tweak.

But it is my absolute HOPE and DREAM to be absolutely ready in April to make it memorable.

So I will continue to try to keep myself going and appreciate and savor the process.