5 Months To Go.

So it's "official" I guess, I have a new coach. It's my good friend Shelly, who saw me to my first sub-four hour marathon in 2012. We started doing some runs together since her recovery from having her second baby, and she is back with a vengeance. Shelly ran track in college and is a smart cookie. She listened to me boo hoo a bit on our runs and decided she was going to pull up her old training plan from when she qualified for Boston a few years ago, and tailor a plan for us to be marathon strong this spring. And she'd do the training with me.

She also knows I want to keep a base for my triathlon season next year, so she worked diligently over the weekend to create a plan that includes my cross training.

I had been focusing so much on the run with Ryan's plan, so I really scaled back on the bike and basically haven't been swimming at all. I decided to get back on the bike a bit before the temperatures plummet to an intolerable level.

Fall is beautiful and I really enjoyed the last few bike rides I have done, before the leaves turn brown, wither, and fly away.

My runs have been pretty decent. I got a fast 4.5 miler in yesterday with an average of 7:19/mile. That's super fast for me. I have a half marathon on Sunday and high hopes for a PR. My best time for 13.1 miles is 1:44. I think I can do it.

Still trying to get a little outdoor yoga in, but daylight is just disappearing and the temps make it hard to be warm and flexible.

I don't HATE any pose in yoga per se, but there are a few that are very challenging for me. It's just a fact that when you hit your forties, the back just doesn't want to bend deeply, regardless of your past history of super bendy flexibility. This one makes me gasp and groan:

Bow.

This is just not the prettiest either, mainly because I just can't get the deep bend going and lift the chest. But they say that avoiding the asanas that are difficult is bad practice. That even at my age I can regain a ton of flexibility that will serve me well if I keep trying, every day if possible. So I will backbend a lot.

Onward!!!!

The Path Unseen

Today's Mantra: "You do not have to see the entire path. Just take one step."

Yesterday morning before my run I got up early, and sat down on the rug in the quiet dark and just stretched and took deep breaths. I thought of where I am, where I've been, and where I want to be. And how that totally depends on my mindset. It depends on my dedication, my determination, and casting any negative thoughts out of my life. This is as close to a meditation as I could muster at this point. No burning candles, no chanting, no trances. Just a moment of affirmation. It was brief, and perhaps not as "cleansing" as true meditation might be. But a small step was taken and for that I'm proud.

In one of my yoga classes I had an instructor who would tell us before we would go into savasana that we should release our "dragon breath." I feel like this is what I need to do. Every morning. Breathe out the burning fire and breathe in the cool fresh air.

Speaking of cool and fresh, the temps were in the upper 40's Monday morning and I took advantage on my 5 miler. When it's cold I hustle; and my pace reflected how chilly I was. I was shocked to see my pace in the 7:20's less than 24 hours after a 20 mile trail run. I did wrong though; Ryan said for me to go easy and that pace was not easy. I was pushing. Why I cannot listen to his wisdom is beyond me. Sometimes, when I'm out there alone in the dark, I feel like I've got something to prove.

This morning it was almost like Groundhog Day. Got up, did my quiet pep talk in the dark, and took to the road again and managed a 7 miler at a 7:40 pace. It's getting a bit easier… well, until the end. I pushed at the end. Finish strong.

Less than a half hour later I was burning up in spin class. I closed my eyes and just focused. Definitely uncomfortable, but not in pain. Got off the bike and did some weights and core work. Felt good to not focus on the run so much and branch out to the arms a bit. I'll be sore tomorrow.

I have been eating very, very well the past few days. Totally plant fueled and feeling good. I've been focusing on my protein and eating lots of chickpeas and hummus, tons of veggies. Less sugar. Taking my multivitamin and B12. I am down 4 lbs since the beginning of the month, close to my pre-ironman weight last year. Haven't been drinking enough water, however. Still drinking too much coffee. Have to work on those things. I ALWAYS have to work on THOSE things, it seems.

On Day 3 of this "Wake Up" program I am supposed to remind myself of my victories, and they are victories that were direct results of positive changes I've made. Not intended to be a brag-fest, it's an exercise to remind yourself that you are capable of goals you have set before yourself, even when you were in a place of not believing. It's like a reminder and proof that the method works.

My victories. With respect to my hobbies (running, triathlon) I think I have a few victories to report, I guess.

1. My very first race was a half marathon in September of 2008 (age 38). I wanted to start running and finish running… no walking. That was my goal. I did it. I remember how hard it was, but I pushed through the misery… the hip pain, the heat, the desire to quit. I finished with a time of 2:27:13. From a girl who couldn't run a full mile the year before, it was a big feat and a victory.

2. I wanted to do a full marathon when I turned 40. I did the training solo and I was not very motivated. A girl online had agreed to do the race with me, but backed out with 2 months left of training. I held my ground and showed up at the starting line of the OBX Marathon with only one sad 16 mile training run under my belt. My goal was to see if I could finish in less than 5 hours. Thanks to the kindness of a stranger who ran the whole way with me and encouraged me, I finished the race in 4:48:33. I vowed to do it again, and better.

3. In 2012 I participated in my first official sprint triathlon after buying a road bike off CraigsList and practicing with a group of very supportive cyclists. The ocean swim made me nervous but I felt okay on the bike and surprised myself on the run. I truly shocked myself with a strong finish, taking 2nd in my age group, and 17th female overall. A new passion was born and I immediately wanted to take it to the next level. A month later I ran the Richmond Marathon with a friend who pushed me… and finished in 3:49:23, only 4 minutes off Boston qualification and a whole HOUR improvement on my very first marathon performance 2 years prior.

4. In May of 2013 I participated in my first half ironman distance triathlon. It was the toughest event in my memory, if I'm being honest. Going from extremes of severe cold to blazing hot, all while being under fueled and dehydrated. I went about the whole thing wrong. But somehow I ended up 1st on the podium in my age group. I still loved it. I decided I was truly hooked to the sport… either that, or making myself suffer.

5. In September of 2103 I did the full ironman distance. I look back at the event fondly now, but it was crazy HARD. I crossed the finish line in 12 hours and ten minutes, alongside my training partner, who was an exceptionally better athlete than me and pushed me hard all summer. I got third female overall and won a check for $500. I got a plaque that said I was third place in the Mid-Atlantic region USA Triathlon Championships. It was the only plaque I proudly displayed on my dresser, and possibly the one event that I am most proud of as an athlete. I still look back at that moment and wonder if that was really me.

6. Two weeks after the ironman I ran the Wineglass Marathon in 3:43:52, BARELY qualifying for the Boston Marathon. Ironically, that was my dream goal at the end of 2012 but triathlon sucked me into an abyss and Boston seemed like an afterthought by the time I got to New York. Endurance training got me through it, but my body was wracked. Still so proud of the accomplishment.

7. In December 2013 I ran my first ultra: a Trail 50K through a state park. I took second place in my age group and was the 6th female overall.

8. Winter '13-'14 I ran the Tidewater Distance Series (10, 15, and 20 milers) and became the first female overall for the entire series.

And that was my dream year. Many "victories."

Because this exercise is to highlight the positive, I will leave it at that. Tomorrow I will have to touch on the negative, and what has to change.

In te meantime, yoga soothes my soul.

Back to training. Dragon breath out.

Break of Day

"Elevate your inside game. A negative attitude is below the horizon… a place for lonesome hearts."
- T. F. Hodge

This week my goal was simple. To get back on track, stick to the plan, and keep a good attitude intact. It's amazing what a mental adjustment can do for your physical performance.

I got a boost on Sunday reconnecting with my former running buddy Shelly… I had an epiphany after our 10 miler and realized that as much as I want to prove I have the strength to progress on my own, running is just more fun, rewarding, and enjoyable with a friend. And Shelly knows how to push me. Her experience, fitness, and most importantly her strong attitude gets me motivated. She agreed to pace me for my next half marathon, and I'm just so thrilled to have a goal again.

Aside from the horrific car key fiasco Tuesday morning, my training has been good. I was supposed to have a down week… lots of recovery, but unfortunately last week I let myself down so I needed a little bit of redemption. I was happy to see my runs all falling into a sub 8 min pace, even my 7 miler that I slugged out at 5:30 am Thursday morning before a looooong 12 hour day at work.

Friday morning the sky was clear and the air cool so we got up early and drove down to Sandbridge Beach and watched the sun rise over the sea. Tried to get some yoga in (of course) but I have to admit that my body was resistant and inflexible that early. My backbends were tough. My balance was off. But the sun was beautiful.

Later that morning I met up with Jim and Garland, my two cycling friends readying themselves for their ironman races in the next 2 weeks. We swam in the Chesapeake Bay. I had the longest swim I have done in months. I loved most of it but after about a mile and a half I started feeling queasy. So I quit a bit early… I was hoping to pull the full 4000 meters. I was slow (by my standards) but I can't complain.

I am trying so very, very hard not to be sad and deflated that I am not doing Beach to Battleship 140.6. I will let it go. It's not my time. I will see my friends compete and do their best. I will feel proud of them. I will bide my time. I will stay focused on my dream: PR at Boston.

Then… I will be an ironman again. 2015 will be my year.

And I have so much to look forward to. I continue my missions with #90daysofmindfulness and the No Meat Athlete running group. I am going to be more dedicated and focused on nutrition for this training cycle, and look forward to exchanging ideas and camaraderie. 

And next weekend… an EVENT! A race! 200 mile relay with people I met on DailyMile. There are two other vegans on my team. I'm looking so forward to participating in an event FINALLY. It's been a weird year.

NOT looking forward to wearing a tutu. But a tutu I will wear.

The Key to Sanity

Today marks 200 days until the 2015 Boston Marathon.

It is also the first day of my second session of #90daysofmindfulness, a project dream child of a girl I coached as a youngster. She is now an artist and yoga instructor, and aspiring vegan, who is quite an inspirational human being. I have agreed to be an ambassador for this initiative; it's basically a social media movement in which people feel supported in their efforts for positive change, whatever that change might be. It can be fitness related, diet related, or anything else that brings positive change into your life.

In the last session, I threw out a very simple and measurable goal. I wanted to achieve King Pigeon pose in yoga. That was it. No big life change, no humungous event to tackle or train for. Just a pose that involves a serious backbend and shoulder flexibility. The irony is I came close, but in fact, do NOT have the pose.

What I did gain was a lot more: I did yoga most every evening, documented it in photography through the help of my family and friends, expressed my creativity, and read so many beautiful and inspiring quotes that filled my spirit with peace and motivation. I can't say that my participation was a failure then. It was a great experience.

This go round my goal is possibly a little less measurable, but definitely more fulfilling. My goal is to pay it forward. I'm not going to go into long detail of it… but basically I was probably one of the most selfish human beings on the planet last year. I was chasing a dream… and got caught up in it heart and soul. I forgot the peripheral people in my life. I neglected them, while they sacrificed to support me fulfill my needs and wants.

I don't have a lot of experience, but I have some. I see people striving to reach the same goal I met last year. I see people struggling with changing their eating habits. I have friends who could use some support in becoming healthy. I will do my best to make myself available to them. I will train with them, run alongside them, swim with them, bike with them. I'll be a cheerleader. They were there for me. I hope to be of some use to them.

In the meantime I know myself. I need to keep my a goal for myself intact, or I will lose my sanity. And I can't be of any use to anyone if I'm in a straightjacket.

So I just have to be a good manager of time, and keep my goals intact. I want to run the Boston Marathon in the best running shape so that I can get a personal record there. I just want to give it MY best…. whatever that is. I want to bring what I am capable of. And I know I am capable of more than I have done in the past. Not to be negative, but aging will limit my progress soon enough. I will reach a peak for my body and that will be the threshold. I want to see that limit. I want to see where it is. After that I will have to accept the destined path. I hope to keep myself going in a way that keeps me happy, healthy, and sane. That's the key.

Speaking of KEY, I have a funny story. Well, it wasn't funny at the time.

My goal this week was to get BACK ON TRACK. Last week I came up short. This week I wanted a different scene. A different vibe.

So on Tuesday I took my run to a new venue. I drove to the local grocery store, parked my car, stuffed my key in my shorts pocket (done it before, no problem), secured the velcro and off I went into the morning fog.

About halfway in I was inclined to feel my pocket. No key bulge. My pocket was EMPTY.

If that wasn't bad enough news, I let the situation sink in that I do NOT have a spare key. It was lost some 3 years ago and never replaced due to the expense.

I retraced my steps. Scoured the ground and the grass. No key. No key. NO KEY.

I made it back to the car and NO KEY.

True panic set in. This has never happened to me before.

I call my neighbor in distress. HELP! She agrees to come and rescue me while I figure out who I'm going to call and write that million dollar check to.

As she rolls in to the parking lot and I get in, she says: "Soooo… there's this random key that's been hanging on our key rack for a long time. I'm not trying to get your hopes up, but it's a Toyota key and I have no idea who it belongs to."

Guess where the spare key to my car has been for the past 3 years (or so).

In other news, the #SilhouetteYogis Instagram challenge is over. No winners selected, but I'm not worried about it. I got such positive feedback from the sponsors that no matter who gets the freebies, it was a winning experience. I'll participate again.

Some of the shots for the project:

Toe stand (with "rag doll" variation)

Standing backbend

Upward facing bow with leg variation

The Virginia Beach No Meat Athlete Running Group is up and "RUNNING."

Sounds like it's going to be another wonderful community for people to thrive in.

Off to yoga class. Got on my bike today and it was gooooooood.

Day 4.

Assigned Workout: None. "Rest day."

Wednesdays are my days off from work and I'll be darned if I'm going to rest!

So I got some household chores done, then packed up my road bike and took "him" down to the beach with me. I had told a friend I'd meet him down at the Bay (as in the Chesapeake) for an open water swim. All of my friends are doing ironman races this fall. I was registered for one too and should be training alongside them. But, I have deferred my registrations this year. Next year will be my year. In the meantime, I will keep my base, train up for Boston, and be ready to kick it into high gear next year as a triathlete.

I got down there a little early… shopped for some new open water goggles and Bonk Breaker bars, then hopped on my road bike for an hour solo spin before the swim.

My legs were complete toast. The strength exercises and intense spin intervals... which included squats, jumps, and various other meat shredding moves... completely fried my thighs. Every pedal stroke burned and my pace sucked.

But it's okay. I made it onto the bike today. Happy with that.

My first brief stop at mile 8: The "Narrows"

Second brief stop: Atop Great Neck Bridge

It was only 17 miles or so, but just enough.

Then it was onto the Bay.

Open water swims always get my heart pounding when I see waves and swells. It was choppy out there, no doubt. But I went in.

My view before I went in the water. I know it doesn't look like much. But it was rough!

Here's the weird thing about open water swimming: so I'm a bit frightened and freaked out about the possibilities of disaster: getting stung/bitten/chomped/struck by wildlife or boats or debris, getting overtaken by a rip current or mega wave, or getting lost from disorientation and meeting my watery grave in the depths of Davy Jones locker.

But at the end of it… even after swallowing a bit of salty water from swells slamming into my face, and getting a bit off course and having to figure out that shore is actually in the OPPOSITE direction… I come out of the water unfazed.

I never work hard enough to get myself exhausted. I always swim "comfy." Hmmmmmm.

Night-time sunset yoga on the paddle board:

Kind of got lost on the way back to shore in the dark. Mosquitoes attacked. 

#YOLO

Week 7 Begins.

Attempt #3 at a useful blog that documents my journey to the Boston Marathon in 2015. This will be a fancy training log of sorts. And a photo album. An attempt to keep myself motivated through documentation. I will try to refrain from endless banter and pointless bitching and moaning. It doesn't help.

The quick version of the "history." 44 years old (gulp). Wife and mother of three VERY active children, ages 14, 13 and 10. Small animal veterinarian. Taxi driver. Maid. Not a cook.

2008: started running (er, rather, "shuffle jogging"). Basically this was my way to deal with pressures of life. I'd go outside and speed walk for a mile. Then I started to shuffle. Then I started to "run." Total therapy. I started my love affair with it from there and it sucked me right in.

Fast forward to present. Running became my drug of choice, which metamorphosed into triathlon. It seems I must always be obsessed with something in order to stay sane and not want to run away to the wilds of the Colorado mountains to live in a shack of isolation (well, maybe occasionally I still consider this option). Competing in races has brought me pride and health, but it has also taught me about the negative aspects of my true obsessive nature.

Life is a balance, so they say.

Enter yoga.

I started attending yoga classes earlier this year to augment my athletic training. But in yoga I found so much more than flexibility exercises. I found a philosophy and belief system that I needed more than I ever could have realized at this point in my life. I will probably infuse a lot of Buddhist philosophy into this blog. I can't help it. It's helped me deal with some very deep personal issues I've faced over the past year or so, and so I use it when I can.

So there will be lots of yoga pictures on this running blog. Why? Because yoga is prettier and possibly more inspirational than running pictures. I look ugly when I run. I am sweaty, grimacing, and trying to just make it. That's not to say I don't love it. It's just that I'm ugly while doing it and I don't like to see pictures of it. Swimming is waaaay worse.

Also: I like photography, so I like pictures. I like to edit them, and make them artistic. I think yoga is beautiful. Well, some poses, that is. I force friends and family to take pictures of me in poses to see if I'm getting better. I am not a narcissist. I just like yoga and I like nature and I like photography.

I've also just developed a love for anything active outdoors. Life is short and I've wasted too much of it sitting on my ass being unhealthy. I'm in love with cycling, swimming (did my first ironman last year), and most recently: stand up paddle boarding (aka "SUP"). I just bought my very first used board and have been taking it out in the evenings on the calm waters of a nearby river. It is everything I need it to be: a way for me to practice balance, get some upper body work in, and allows me to appreciate nature and everything my beautiful coastal hometown has to offer.

But back to the purpose of this blog. I qualified for the Boston Marathon in October last year. It was my dream for over a year after I realized consistent training paid off and actually made me a better runner. And I squeaked in. I register the first week in September and I hope and pray to secure a spot.

I had a catastrophic marathon last March. I basically quit about mile 20. It wasn't due to any serious physical setbacks. It was purely mental. I lost my focus, and let pure weakness and mental breakdown overtake me. Over the past few months I needed a step back to reevaluate many, many things.

I haven't run more than 12 miles in one stretch since.

But running and triathlon have became a part of who I am, and I became just sadder and sadder without it. I needed to get back into it. I just needed a goal.

6 weeks ago I hired an official running coach. I've watched him from a afar the past couple of years… he is a phenom. I met with him in a coffee shop and I basically said I wanted to go to Boston as the best runner I can possibly be. Could he help me?

He looked at my stats, my PR's and my history. He said: yes, he could help me. So I wrote him a hefty check and here we are 6 weeks into the process.

Truth be told I need to step up my game. I have some very big goals and it's time to stop making excuses. I've been tired, I've been a little disoriented and depressed, I haven't given it 100% in these first 6 weeks. At the start of week 7, I vow to change. I want to be a disciplined, good athlete. I think I NEED the structure and the dedication to help me keep me busy and focused.

Time to get serious.

This upcoming week's plan:

SUNDAY: run, 10 mile steady pace

MONDAY: run, 4 mile easy, swim

TUESDAY: run, 1 mile WU, 6X800 (5k pace), 1 mi CD, spin, yoga

WEDNESDAY: cross (bike, swim, yoga)

THURSDAY: 5 mile easy

FRIDAY: bike (leaving for vacation so we'll see…)

SATURDAY: 12 mile steady

Side note: will also address nutrition. I have been a vegan for approximately a year (for health reasons), and was a vegetarian before that. As a vegan, I gained too much weight by relying too much on grains. I'm rethinking my approach a bit and have decided to go back to the pescatarian way (just adding eggs and fish) with MOSTLY plant-based fuels.

Onward.